Kevin's Watch Forum Index
 HomeHome   MemberlistMemberlist   RegisterRegister   SearchSearch   ProfileProfile   FAQFAQ   StatisticsStatistics  SudokuSudoku   Phoogle MapPhoogle Map 
 AlbumAlbum StoresStores   StoresItems Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

"It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on" Part 1
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Kevin's Watch Forum Index -> The Hall of Gifts
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:47 pm    Post subject: "It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on" Part 1 Reply with quote

Submitted for your reading pleasure, comments, critiques and discussions.

Disclaimer: This is a work of Fan Fiction based on the world created by Stephen R Donalsdon in the Thomas Covenant Series. The copyrights are held by him and others. This work is not for wide distribution, and was written for the pleasure of the Author and members of Kevin's Watch.

This story deals with the final part of Koriks mission. The ultimate failure of the mission to seareach has always haunted me, and it has struck me that the mission's fate had been sealed before First mark Morin gave it to Korik. They never had a chance.

"It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on", Part 1.
1.

It was on the third day after their departure from coercri when, trapped between the unremitting malice of the swamp lurker and the cold fact of the seashore, Korik bloodguard and the remainder of the mission encountered the first giant corpse.

The three had staggered out of the swamp and collapsed on a thin rise of coarse sand, oblivious to the rude effigy nailed to the tree on the dune above them. Accustomed to haleness surpassed only by the ranyhyn, the three had been ill used by the odyssey through the swamp and were exhausted. For three days, they had been driven through fetid mud pits; lashed and harassed by giant tentacles that arose from the mire at odd points; had skirted and dodged waves of acidic skesh, and still other horrors. The remainder of Hoerkin's First Eoward had been found, dismembered and staked to trees or frozen limbs and garments embedded in rank pits of mud and ire. Once, Doar had been pulled down into the mud by a grasping whip, and barely recovered; Sill’s ankle was acid-burned and bruised, and even Korik’s gait betrayed some injury to his hip. The three now required rest and the succor of aliantha as they had not since the Vow had taken them.

Korik arose first; waving off Doar's offer of a few small treasure-berries; he stood and approached the dune top. Sill ate his share of the treasure-berries and glared at Korik’s back as he climbed. Korik stopped and regarded the tree, Sill followed his gaze. They saw the corpse at the same moment. Sill touched Doar’s shoulder and indicated the gross form.

Flyblown and headless, it sat cross-legged among the salt-scoured roots of an elder-tree. The corpse’s body was pinned upright against the wizened trunk by a wooden stake, the end bludgeoned by the force that had driven it through the breastbone and into the living wood behind. The left arm was raised, pinned to the trunk by a smaller stake hammered through the open palm. The three smaller fingers had been ripped off, the lone digit lazily marking some far point down the beach. The right arm lay prone in the lap, the open palm supporting the chin of the severed head which glared soullessly back at the haruchai.

Korik studied the corpse briefly, and was soon joined by the other two. He didn’t want their nearness, needed to be alone and brace himself against the ill tide that had been rising since he took up his doom. How he had raged at Sparlimb at their loss of hope, their calm acquiescence, yet now he faced the same battle within, and was giving ground.

His face a mask, he left them, walking wide around the intaglioed roots of the tree to the top of the shallow dune, and looked southward in the direction indicated by the corpse. That way, leagues of dune-top separated rancid swamp from pallid sea; forty leagues beyond, the swamp gave way to ruined plains, then twenty more leagues over laval fields to Gorak Krembal, now named Hotash Slay, which warded Foul’s Crèche on the sea. Sixty leagues further, then, thought Korik. He wondered if his soul could be warded against the ill tied into his tunic for three more days. Overhead, a raven circled erratically, cawing some fading note that partially reached their ears. To Korik, it sounded like Oath-breaker. Vow-Defiler.

Doar and Sill, who had briefly known only one giant, regarded the corpse for a moment longer. But Sill was anxious, needed to hear Korik speak.

‘We are ill led to this place, Korik.’ he said finally, in the mental speech of the Haruchai. His statement hung in their minds, his agitation plain; Korik had sent word to the Warward that they had recovered a fragment of the illearth stone carried by the Giant-Raver, and would bear it to Revelstone for the Lords valuation; yet before the message had been born a league, Korik had turned and led them instead into the swamp. Sill had to know why.

Korik ignored the remark. He had not the strength to fight other battles now. He struggled to keep the surge of his emotions at bay. His hand dropped to his tunic, where the fragment hung, tied into a small pouch. His hip had been scalded by its proximity, the skin angry and moiled; he longed for the healing and easement of aliantha, the only sustenance the Bloodguard needed, but it had rejected him in the swamp, a dark confirmation. His midsection still pained from an hour of retching while constantly on the run. The internal workings of the haruchai were no longer used to dealing with such afflictions, and the dry heaves had brought both blood and shame to his lips. He had hidden it from the others. “Do not touch, -- take --” Lord Hyrim had said, before his scorched body succumbed to the blast of emerald vileness that had quenched his fire and shattered his staff; but Korik had touched, had taken; his path lay open before him since then, with no need of the grim gestures that now marked his way.

Sill again broke the mental silence of the party. ‘Sparlimb spoke of the doom of those who fled the coming of Kinslaughterer. But their violation did not end in the Swamp as he avowed. And in sooth they were taught the long name of despair ere they died. I ask again where you lead us, Korik.’

Korik stared down the beach. The two younger haruchai started up the dune, wary at their leader’s silence, but Korik turned after they had taken a step, and stayed them with a gesture.

He lifted the tunic to present his hip, against which the tied pouch carrying the fragment lay. The skin was raw and shone wetly, welts tracing the veins outward from his hip down to his ashen thigh, as if the blood itself had been corrupted. He detached the small pouch that held the fragment, and thrust it before Sill. Emotion colored his feature, his brow clenched. He enunciated the words as if each were a dirk thrust into his gut.

‘We cannot bear this ill to Revelstone. I am accosted by the malice that broke the fealty of Giants.’ A single tear welled and traced a path down the dust on his face, as foreign as blood on granite. ‘The Vow quails at its nearness, -- do you not feel it as well? There is little time –‘

Dour cut him off, his tone sharp as flint. ‘The way south lays unopposed; the plains beyond the swamp may be gained in a day and night. The Ranyhyn -‘

‘will not bear us!’ cried Korik. Me. They will not bear me. His voice was full of emotion, each word sharp in their minds. ‘I would not shame them with this ill. Nor would they bear me with it.’ He paused, gasping against some internal assault, and then continuing when it had abated.

‘But it cannot now be set aside, nor passed on; we are the Bloodguard. We must see this done. Our path now lies to the south. To the halls of Corruption itself we will carry this fragment. The Grey Slayer will answer to Bloodguard for the desecration of Giants.’

“Betrayal!’ Sill cried. Sill and Doar advanced as one, bodies tensed for action, but Korik stayed them again. Tears born of frustration and despair shone against his flat features.

‘I ask you: Should I have left it, as Hyrim wished? No. Another would have claimed it, less than Haruchai, more easily mastered. No, our fate was sealed ere we left Revelstone. But I cannot much longer resist this bane which rent fealty from the Unhomed. It is too long. We would gain Revelstone as corruption-slaves, bringing doom upon the Lords, the hope of the Land. In that way we would serve Corruption. ‘

His face tightened against his next words, as if the sharing of it would hasten their doom.

‘But there is another thing. It seeks the Vow within me. The Earthpower that sustains it. I do not know in good sooth if it may be corrupted by such lore, yet we cannot allow it. Corruption will seek your souls when my will fails. And then to the others. I must hold until we gain Ridjeck Thome. I will lure him forth, and you, unaffected, will slay Corruption as we broke Kinslaughterer, and redeem our Vow.

‘The Grieve has taught you despair, Nimishi-in!’ Sill cried, his tone thick with repulsion. He moved suddenly, slapping Korik full across the face with his open palm, and then flowed easily into the challenge posture of the leadership trial. The form he chose was that of the appointed leader, who challenged those to accept or prove their skill against him, as was the way among Nimishi; it was a grave insult.

Despite earlier sentiments of frailty, Korik’s next movement swept the challenger from his feet and laid him rudely prostrate. He then turned slightly, anticipating Doar, but the younger one was already in motion. Doar feigned, then swept around, his hardened heel connecting solidly below Korik’s ribs, then, rolling in midair, his other foot sliced the air before the leader’s face. Sill was up, ready, but abstained while Doar engaged the older man.

The three men fought as they had not in Revelstone; Sill and Doar took turns in challenging the older Haruchai, each jumping in as the other retreated. Korik was constantly engaged, and soon began to fall back from the assault. After several long moments, Sill penetrated Korik’s defenses, landing punishing blows to his midsection and kidneys, finally striking him so hard on the chin that the older man’s head snapped back and he lost his footing. Korik fell, attempted to rise; the two challengers sprang to the fallen man, pinning him to the coarse sand of the beach. Sill moved in, his expression hot and determined. He grasped the tight curls of Korik’s hair, forced his head still, exposing the neck. The trapped man struggled, his eyes shut tight against tears and sand. Sill drew back, his hand tight and drawn as a dirk. He forced Korik’s head back slightly, revealing the telltale rift he sought below the jaw, where spine entered skull.

Korik’s eyes snapped open, the former whites around his almond pupils now shot through with bright emerald. He met Sill’s gaze with crazed intensity. Doar’s hand snaked in between them and clutched the prone man’s throat, his grip a closing vise. Blackness poured into the fringes of his vision; he struggling against them desperately as his consciousness began to fail. Within, a wall was breached; Korik screamed.

A detonation of olivine vileness and wet sand cast the two men from him, sending them back over the small dunes to land roughly several yards away. Doar landed badly, striking his head on a sand-covered rock, which left him bereft of wits. Sill struck the reposing corpse, and crashed among the roots of the elder trunk and lay still.

targetless, his rage subsided, the green tint melted slowly from his eyes. Korik squatted on the beach. Soon, the other two began to rise and move towards him, the former air of challenge abated. Despondently, they sat attentive as Korik spoke in low tones.

Later, they crossed the dune-tops, moving southward. Korik set the pace, having had no sustenance for days longer, and bearing more wounds. They stopped when the sun had slid beneath the hills to the west, Sill and Dour taking a few of the remaining berries before resuming their flight across the sands. By the time they encountered the second giant-corpse, Sill had begun to retch.

PART 2: http://kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=447483#447483
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...


Last edited by iQuestor on Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:54 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Warmark
ManBearPig


Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 4206

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: Scotland
409 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it, particularly the Haruchai ritual fighitng. How many parts are you planning to write?
_________________
But if you're all about the destination, then take a fucking flight.
We're going nowhere slowly, but we're seeing all the sights.
And we're definitely going to hell, but we'll have all the best stories to tell.


Full of the heavens and time.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Warmark: thanks for reading it.

I plan to write 2 more parts (if anyone shows any interest, that is). I have all of the details in my head, it is getting them down on paper that takes a while ...
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
matrixman
cheek turner


Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 8361

Thanks: 6
Thanked 28 Times in 27 Posts


8348 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A masterful piece, iquestor. Bravo! You seem to understand SRD's style of writing for the Chronicles very well. If I didn't know you had written this, I might have mistaken it as another "outtake" from The Illearth War written by SRD himself.

I'm really impressed by the dark, brutal imagery - especially that of the nailed Giant. I also like how you give us a sense of the intense isolation, far away from any help or hope, that these doomed Bloodguard experienced.

Eagerly looking forward to your next installment, iquestor.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger Phoogle Map
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MM: Thanks so much for reading it. I have agonized over it for too long. I have 'known' the story for a while, I think writing the ending though is going to break my heart.
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Zarathustra
Be True


Joined: 04 Jan 2005
Posts: 17345

Thanks: 37
Thanked 173 Times in 166 Posts


19648 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll have to chime in with similar praise for this piece. Fantastic. I don't really like the idea of fan fiction, so I had reservations about reading this. I was going to give you exactly one sentence to hold my attention. You did, and I kept reading. MM was right: the lonely, doomed feeling you elicit was very well done. I hadn't really thought much about those three doomed Bloodguard, but what you've written follows logically from their predicament and the "rules" set out by SRD. You've made me completely rethink fan fiction.

Please finish the rest!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malik, thanks for your words; I also feel the same way about fan fic, and seldom read it for likely the same reasons as you. For some reason, SRD's TC novel are different. I have a deep interest in exploring story lines left untouched by SRD, but that are really important in the overall plot. the biggest example of this is Korik's misson, which really has impacted the story since, even into Runes.

Other areas I am thinking of exploring:

1. The corruption of WavenHair's triplets. How were they tempted? What led the to Foul? what happened to WavenHair?

2. Saltheart's battles during the setting of IEW.

3. Mhorams scouting expedition to Foul's Creche during the interlude between TC's 1st and second visit. He met and was assailed by a Raver and came away; the raver was daunted at Mhoram's power.

at any rate, I expect by the end of next week I will be posting the second of three segments for this piece. thanks so much for reading it.
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...


Last edited by iQuestor on Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Zarathustra
Be True


Joined: 04 Jan 2005
Posts: 17345

Thanks: 37
Thanked 173 Times in 166 Posts


19648 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
at any rate, I expect by the end of next week I will be posting the second of three segments for this piece. thanks so much for reading it.


Well, I think that's what this site is all about: exploring compelling fiction.

Have you given any thought to your own ideas for novels? At some time, you must turn you talent toward your own creations. I'd love to hear you ideas.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have written a submitted 3 short stories to the likes of Asimov's and SF&F over the years, and am working on a novella right now that I hope i can do the concept and story justice; I have some very good ideas I think.. I just need to develop my skills as a writer. I find it easier to write something like this piece, where the outcome is known and you write to it.

I wrote one piece I though was pretty good called Lord of Hosts about a post-apocalyptic North America and how pre-war leaders sought to conserve and gain control of the new world order knowing they had destroyed everything; now that I think about it, it had a similar motivation as Lord Kevin's ROD, whereby he sought to destroy everything, and hoped the good could make it back before Foul. I may try to find my electronic copy and post it for the new anthology.

anyway, thanks for your comments...


I have been paid to produce some written work, not fiction, but dream of having something published that is fiction.
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Buckarama
Elohim


Joined: 28 Sep 2005
Posts: 213

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts


0 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

iquestor wrote:


3. Mhorams scouting expedition to Foul's Creche during the interlude between TC's 1st and second visit. He met and was assailed by a Raver and came away; the raver was daunted at Mhoram's power.


is this what happened? I thought that was what Mhoram told everyone but that's not what happened. I could be wrong as always.

Nice story btw, one of the few I read all the way through.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would have to go back and research it; however when Satansfist began the siege against revelstone, Mhoram replies:

Quote:
"I hear you, Samhadi Raver. I know you Sheol Satansfist, and you know me. I am Mhoram, son of Variol, High Lord by the choices of the council. Depart, Raver! Take your ill hordes with you. You have tocvuhed me. You know I will not be daunted. "


the giant replies:

Quote:
I know you Mhoram. When I placed my hand upon you in the labrynth of Kurash Quellinir, I knew you. You were too blind with folly and ignorance ot feel a wise despair. Therefor I permitted your life-- so that you would live to better knowledge. ...


I think Mhoram later talks a little more about what happened, but forgot where it is later in the books.
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Relayer
Sequent

Male
Joined: 20 Dec 2005
Posts: 1365

Thanks: 6
Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

Location: Wasatch Stonedown
2444 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 Member of Linden's Army


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Iquestor, I waited to read this until my reread of Illearth War got past Tull's tale (last night... I was up too late! Smile

I agree, if I didn't know this was a fanfic, I'd have thought SRD wrote it too. Really well done! I love how you bring out the feelings, the depth of the Bloodguard and the paradox of the Vow, the imagery, and how you captured the style of writing. It all feels right, like it actually could have happened this way.

Quote:
I have 'known' the story for a while, I think writing the ending though is going to break my heart.

At a book signing for Mordant's Need many years ago, SRD said that about the 3rd Chrons Smile

Quote:
I find it easier to write something like this piece, where the outcome is known and you write to it.

SRD has said many times in the GI how he has to know how the story will end before he can write it Smile ... You are in good company, and you already have a great skill as a writer! I do know what you mean, though. As a musician, I've always found it much easier to arrange and embellish other people's songs than to write great songs myself. Keep working at it, you will find YOUR voice. Or more likely, the right vehicle for your vision.


One small thing: the one Bloodguard was named Doar. Though "dour" is a pretty good description of the Haruchai, too.

I'm looking forward to the next part!!
_________________
"History is a myth men have agreed upon." - Napoleon

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
iQuestor
Unthanked

Ranyhyn
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 2520

Thanks: 9
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Location: South of Disorder
468 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 I Love KW1 Member of THOOLAH1 SRD's Green Rock


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Relayor

thanks for bringing the issue of Dour/Doar's name. I guess I wrote it wrong and never caught it.


thanks so much for your comments. I am working on the next part now.

I have a novella in my head I have has a few false starts on I think I will take back up after this. this is a good exercise in getting my writing jump started again. Smile
_________________
Becoming Elijah has been released from Calderwood Books!
Korik's Fate
It cannot now be set aside, nor passed on...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
Relayer
Sequent

Male
Joined: 20 Dec 2005
Posts: 1365

Thanks: 6
Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

Location: Wasatch Stonedown
2444 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 Member of Linden's Army


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No problem. It certainly didn't affect my enjoyment of the story Smile
_________________
"History is a myth men have agreed upon." - Napoleon

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Phoogle Map
dlbpharmd
Lord

MaleRanyhyn
Joined: 11 Sep 2003
Posts: 14282

Thanks: 5
Thanked 51 Times in 50 Posts

Location: Jacksboro, TN.
14849 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 Member of THOOLAH1 2007 Watcher of the Year1 2007 Watchies


PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like Murrin, I'm not particularly fond of fanfic, but I gotta hand it to you - this really is pretty good. I love everything about the Bloodguard so I particularly enjoyed reading the combat sections. Also, having the aliantha reject Korik is a nice touch, and Korik's certain knowledge that the Ranyhyn would not bear him is also very appropriate. I look forward to next section.

(This should be moved to Hall of Gifts.)
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger Phoogle Map
Spring
Early Bird


Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 3784

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

Location: Australia
116 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. That was very, very good, iquestor. Very similar to SRD's style of writing. Thumbs Up

Great work.
_________________
Rovers '06 Premiers
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
variol son
Seer and Oracle


Joined: 05 Apr 2002
Posts: 5772

Thanks: 8
Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts

Location: New Zealand
1333 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dlbpharmd wrote:
(This should be moved to Hall of Gifts.)


At last someone else said it and I don't look like an obsesive-compulsive. Confused

As for the work though, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for posting iquestor, because it's really brilliant. Very Happy

Two things, and the first one is a little picky. The Warhaft was called Hamako, not Hergrom (who was a Haruchai). Secondly, why did you decide to have the Bloodguard speak vocally as opposed to within their minds as they do in Gilden Fire?
_________________
You do not hear, and so you cannot be redeemed.

In the name of their ancient pride and humiliation, they had made commitments with no possible outcome except bereavement.

He knew only that they had never striven to reject the boundaries of themselves.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger Phoogle Map
Krilly
Super-Fighting-Haruchai!

Male
Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 211

Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

Location: Shorewood, IL
349 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
‘We are ill led to this place, Korik.’ he said finally, in the mental speech of the Haruchai.


I took the following dialogue as more thought-speech, though it's not explicitly noted. I don't think Donaldson has ever "directly" transcribed what the Haruchai say in writing so I can only assume that's what he's doing here.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Phoogle Map
variol son
Seer and Oracle


Joined: 05 Apr 2002
Posts: 5772

Thanks: 8
Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts

Location: New Zealand
1333 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:


PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah yes, thanks Krilly. SRD doesn't use speech marks when he transcribes the Haruchai mind speech in Gilden Fire which is why I missed it.

Once again iquestor, amazing job. You have perfectly captured the deep sadness that so beautifully characterizes SRD's work. I hope to see an original piece submitted for KW Anthology II. Very Happy
_________________
You do not hear, and so you cannot be redeemed.

In the name of their ancient pride and humiliation, they had made commitments with no possible outcome except bereavement.

He knew only that they had never striven to reject the boundaries of themselves.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger Phoogle Map
danlo
Lord of Neverness


Joined: 06 Mar 2002
Posts: 20840

Thanks: 43
Thanked 55 Times in 55 Posts

Location: Albuquerque NM
2461 White Gold Dollars
Tokens
HP

User Items:
1 2005 Watcher of the Year1 Sandgorgon1 Skyweir


PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll have to wait till I get home on Fri. to read this, but just thought I'd once again expound my theory on what happened to WavenHair? I've always assumed that she eventually turns into the Lurker. Spoiler:
again Runes is fairly specific that when the great ill came upon the Land it originated in the heart of the Sarangrave...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Phoogle Map
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Kevin's Watch Forum Index -> The Hall of Gifts All times are GMT
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Page 1 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by Earthpower © Kevin's Watch