Why did the chicken cross the road?

dlbpharmd

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ .....

[reboot]

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of 'cross the road'?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
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aliantha · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:31 pm Post subject:

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Warmark · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:38 pm Post subject:

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Hysterical

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Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:54 pm Post subject:

You forgot SRD: Linden stood frozen with indecision hampered by her inability to see the chicken. Barely able to hold back her tears she raised the staff of law and tried to summon the power to relieve Kevin's Dirt and expose the raver hidden within the chicken.
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kevinswatch · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:04 pm Post subject:

^ Haha, nice. But you forgot to use the words puissant and crepuscular.-jay

Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject:

and inchoate! hahahahah.
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Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:13 pm Post subject:

Linden Avery, the puissance of her health sense diminished by the crepuscular fug of Kevin's Dirt, held back her tears as she realized she could not truly see the chicken. Inchoate rage welled up inside her as she realized the immedicable truth of what the Masters had done, the Land no longer knew chickens.
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kevinswatch · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:22 pm Post subject:

It's like I'm reading a passage straight from Runes! Shocked

Heh.-jay

Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:11 pm Post subject:

Thank you! *bows* Thank you!
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Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

www.fantasybedtimehour.com

Gil galad · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:39 pm Post subject:

Those are all pretty cool!

Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:59 pm Post subject:

ESMER: The chicken was unable to cross the road because it was jaywalking and therefore beaten down in a display of excessive force by the police.

NULL: It's the chicken's own fault for not speaking english or obeying the cop when he told the chicken to stop.

I'm sorry Es, Null I couldn't resist.
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Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

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The Laughing Man · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:13 pm Post subject:

Loremaster · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:24 pm Post subject:

Injerian Praetus II · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:31 pm Post subject:

Nor Yekith: On the Oath of the Allfather I did not mutate the chicken to cross the road.

Bhakti: Hey, sexy chick! Come over here!
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Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:32 pm Post subject:

CREATOR: Maybe the chicken will post naughty pictures of itself on KW.

LUCIMAY: The chicken crossed the road to get to his scrabble game.

CAMERAMAN JENN: (posts naughty pic of chicken) The chicken is HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!
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Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

www.fantasybedtimehour.com

Loremaster · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject:

Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:41 pm Post subject:

Lore wrote:

Loremaster · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:43 pm Post subject:

It's a joke between Cov jr and myself. he'll get it. Wink

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Cameraman Jenn · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:48 pm Post subject:

That scares me even more!!!! Shocked

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Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

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Cole · Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:55 pm Post subject: