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A Letter to Linden Avery (aka, I just finished FR)
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wayfriend
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nerdanel wrote:
wayfriend wrote:
.... or, Linden uses a ceasure to travel back in time, and the rest of the series is in the past before the Worm was awoken.
But what would be the point?
To search for a means of putting a Worm to sleep in 7 pages or less, of course!

You have your Baseball Bat at the End of Time, which is a brute force approach I suppose. Then there's the White Noise Generator of Eternity and Beyond. Or -- and this is my personal choice - the Robin of Ultimate Infinite Eternal Doom.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can see it in my mind:

---------------

Linden: (makes a caesure) Hurry, everyone! We must escape quickly!

(Linden & co. spend the rest of Against All Things Ending studying magic in a secluded laboratory in the Southron Range, Insequent/Unfettered style.)

Linden: Gasp, Esmer! You actually said something clear and helpful that will enable us to solve this vexing mystery and save the world!

Esmer: I guess I'll have to kill you now to make up for that.

(Linden batters Esmer to near death.)

Esmer: No, please, I don't want to die! Well, actually I do... No... Yes... (Stabs himself to death.)

(Linden & co. continue their magical experiments in The Last Dark. The name of the book is due to Liand inventing a ritual for producing infinite incandescent lightbulbs so that they don't have to skimp on candles anymore.)

(A caesure opens in the present. Linden & co. step out.)

Linden: (raising the Staff of Law) Sleepicius Wormius!

(Six and a half pages of soothingly lambent, yet puissant lightshow ensue. The Worm falls asleep and starts to snore.)

Linden: We have still half a page left. Covenant, use your ring to rescue Jeremiah, cleanse the Land from Kevin's Dirt, deal with Roger, destroy Kastenessen and the skurj, stop the caesures, pacify the Sandgorgons, talk the Masters into common sense, restore Anele into sanity and Longwrath too, erase Lord Foul from existence, and marry me.

Covenant: Ok. (Does just that.)

THE END.

----------------

Okay, I don't really know why I wrote that. I think it probably conveys that I don't think an all-past narrative about finding ways to combat the Worm would be dramatic enough to fill the two last books, especially if the solution is just putting it to sleep again.

Sure, they could have interesting adventures while timetraveling in search of someone who knows the solution and is willing to reveal it, but that kind of thing would be essentially a side quest, and it being done in the past prevents it from feeling very urgent. I just don't see side quests taking up two books.

-----------------

Crowd: BURN THE WITCH! BURN THE WITCH!

Linden: Mahrtiir, Bhapa, Pahni, slow them down!

Breadcrumb Trail Person #20: The.. Vizard... Said... He... Went.. To...

Linden: What? What did he say? (releases healing Earthpower from the Staff)

Breadcrumb Trail Person #20: He went to see someone in a distant land called... High Lord Kevin...
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you've nailed it! Big Grin

Also, I do think you have a point.

Perhaps, then, the resolution to the Worm is that the Elohim, to the man, sacrifice themselves to "answer the majick" and put the Worm back to sleep. The Earth is saved for the moment, but thusly loses it's primary form of Timeloose protection, leaving LA and TC to protect Time on their own. Hillarity ensues.
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I still like the idea that the Worm (a.k.a. the Arch of Time) is killed (along with Elohim) but its body remains mostly intact. The result: the end of the world is delayed for the moment, but now, for example, time is incapable of healing itself, TC no longer has the Timewarden powers, and the Elohim are out of the picture. TC and LA have to figure out how to keep the fragile reality from deteriorating further. Hilarity ensues.
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually think in the last 2 books someone's going to leave a baby at their doorstep and then they're just going to be going mad keeping it out of all sorts of mischief.. Hopefully with a crappy '80s music video montage.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:31 am    Post subject: Re: A Letter to Linden Avery (aka, I just finished FR) Reply with quote

Foamfollower1013 wrote:
Dear Linden,

What on earth were you thinking?? Are you insane?

You know, I was almost starting to warm to you when you were being betrayed by fake-Covenant. No one deserves that, not even you.

But then you had to go and do something stupid again. No this time it was beyond stupid. And what really gets me is that you knew it was stupid. Everyone and their mother was warning you not to be an idiot, and you just kept going with your fingers in your ears. Lalala, I can't hear you all warning me. I'm not going to tell anyone what I'm doing because I know if I do they'll tell me I'm being an idiot, and then I won't be able to pretend I'm not anymore. Even Covenant himself told you Remember I'm dead, but you apparently decided to ignore that part of what he said. Your opinion was the only one that mattered.

What gives you the right to make unilateral decisions that could potentially affect the whole world? And all for the sake of your son. You know what? Honestly, I don't care about your son if it means everything else gets sacrificed. I care about the Land. Your son is just one person - he's not worth tearing apart the entire world.

Even Covenant in his most extreme moments was careful not to do anything that would harm the Land. You...you just don't care. You're causing harm to the whole world, all for your own selfish reasons.

You have the worst judgment I've ever seen. Covenant did some crazy stuff, but he's nothing compared to you. You're just a walking disaster.

The only good outcome I can see from this is that maybe we'll get to have Covenant back for a while. Maybe we'll even get to see some things from his perspective again. God, do I miss having Covenant as the narrator.

Exasperation,
Foamy

-----------------------

*ahem* Okay, I'm done ranting now. Um, hello everyone! Wave

Disclaimer: I'm not actually angry...just in case that didn't translate across the Internet. Nor did I actively dislike this book - it's not my favorite, but it had its moments. I'm just shaking my head at Linden's monumental stupidity.



I bow to your awesomeness and I wholly concur! I just finished reading FR, and my membership in THOOLAH is stronger than ever. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fist and Faith wrote:
You folks don't understand. Linden would be a fine character in a Covenant story. In the 2nd Chrons, for example. She was annoying at times, as I'm sure she was meant to be. But wanting to smack her was part of the fun of the trilogy. It was still a TC story, even if the spotlight was entirely on her for a few chapters there. Hating her then was part of the game. Very Happy And she did grow, become very strong (able to fight off possession by a Raver! Shocked), and her actions at the end of WGW are among the most awe-inspiring I've ever seen.

But now, though the title of the series would lead us to believe otherwise, it's her story. The entire first half of the Final Chrons is entirely her, and I'm willing to bet she'll be the focus of the second two books, with Covenant along for the ride. But even if the best I could hope for - that it be about Covenant again, with her along for the ride; a Covenant story - she'll have had the first two books to herself, and a good size roll in the second two. But it won't be that way, anyway. It will be her story. I want a Covenant story, and nothing is going to make me not want a Covenant story.



This is EXACTLY how I feel. Thank you!
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RAFO...and trust SRD.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Savor! Going to start AATE tonight. I am really happy that we have Covenant back, I have missed him.

I don't really know exactly how to put into words what it is about Linden that I dislike. She just annoys me. I guess her risking the Land to save her son is not so different than Covenant risking the Land to save the girl with the snakebite. Not really sure what it is about Linden, she just gets on my nerves.

I am just so full questions, and I am hoping that a lot of them get answered in AATE:

- What do the urviles/waynhim want Linden to do for them? That is driving me nuts! I was so mad when Esmer didn't allow the Giants to understand them.

- What is the answer to Caerroil Wildwood's question?

- Is the Harrow truly evil? What is his intent?

- Are the Masters ever going to stop being jerks?!

- Are the Sandgorgons going to be a problem, and if so, what are they going to do?

- What is up with Lostson? Does he have Earth Sight and knew Linden was about to wake the Worm, so he was trying to kill her in order to stop her? Or is Foul behind his anger and desire to slay her?

So many questions!
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh...I hadn't seen this thread before!
Now that I have, I am required to live up to the title given me of
"Anile defender of Linden."
No real Foamfollower would have written such a thing.
Linden isn't stupid in ANY sense, particularly not in this precise case, though monumental describes her in other ways.

Plenty of stupider folk around...all the Elohim, most of the Har, for instance...
And TC would NEVER hurt the Land...only people, like raping a young girl...oh, yea, and risking the whole world with bargains so he doesn't have to risk having feelings again...
He NEVER acts on his own purposes for his own reasons no matter what [even when it risks the world by giving his ring to the incarnation of evil destruction, just making a GUESS that being will forget it could just tell him to go away and thereby win it all]...Oh, I guess he DOES do that stuff. Hmmm.

Folk are funny.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another letter to Linden Avery: Stop being so awesomely badass. No one in THOOLAH can identify themselves with you so they don't like you.





Spoiler:
(Letter to 2nd Chronicles Linden Avery: You suck.)

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aye...the Ironhand trusts her, and so shall the rest of the retinue. Yet I do admit that those constant musings and maunderings and mutterings about her staff can grow dreary, especially when we plod along paths unsung, weary to the core and devoid of a destination upon this sargasso of the Earth. Mayhap that Covenant fellow ought to coax her into the bushes and give her a hearty staffing to satisfy her needs. Or the haruchai hight Stave. Now that would be living up to one's name!


High Lord Tolkien wrote:

Spoiler:
(Letter to 2nd Chronicles Linden Avery: You suck.)


More Razz I disagree!
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh...not to go to0 far from topic, but I agree...I always wished Linden and a Har would have a night of passion.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liand seemed the natural choice.
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well...he is young and eager...
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