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Covenant walks into a bar....
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Sharguild
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:30 am    Post subject: Covenant walks into a bar.... Reply with quote

He's accompanied by Nom.
He asks the bartender for a beer, a shot of JD and a bucket of cement,

"A bucket of cement?" the bartender queries.

" yeah, it comes in handy about this time" Covenant answers.

So the bartender cracks open a beer, pours a shot of JD and says " look I don't have any cement".

Covenant takes a swig of the beer and tosses the shot of JD back.

"Look , either you get a bucket of cement, right now or you explain to my friend here why not."

"Yeah okay, what's your friends, name?"

Covenant grabs a beer coaster and quickly scribbles the name.

Bartender reads it, looks up and says; " look Nom..."
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROTFLMAO, funny, love it. Big Grin
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

look what Nom did to the bartender.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:34 am    Post subject: Covenant walks into a bar... Reply with quote

...he orders a beer.

The bartender says "That'll be $6.95."

"Six ninety-five!" says Covenant. "Hellfire!" But he pays.

The bartender, after studying his customer for a moment, says "You know, we don't get many half-handed lepers in here."

Covenant looks at him. "At these prices, I'm not surprised!"

----

...he orders a shot of Blood of the Earth. Taking a swig, he utters "My tab is considered paid in full!"

The bartender, wincing, says "I'll bet you can't do that again!"

----

...he orders a shot of tequila.

The bartender asks "What kind?"

Covenant holds up his right hand. "You have to ask?"

----

...he asks the bartender, "What's the quickest way to Revelstone?"

The bartender says, "Are you walking, or riding a Ranyhyn?"

Covenant replies "Riding a Ranyhyn."

"That's the quickest way."
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now that's some funny stuff! Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Hysterical Hysterical Hysterical
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing very good lol. two fingers Tequila ... i had a bottle of that once. wish i remember if it was good or not.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brilliant lol.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samadhi, Turiya, Moksha, and Thomas Covenant walked into Lord Foul's Bar. Only Thomas Covenant walked out.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But, wasn't there that one time where he ended up hanging from the chandelier? No wait that was the arch of time...
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thomas Covenant walks into a bar with the Croyel on his shoulder. The bar tender looks up and says , " Oh My God! where did you get that horrible thing? The Croyel replys, "Down at the Leprosium, theres lots of'em.."
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

... "Ow"

-jay
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Lurch, cute one.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thomas Covenant walks into a bar accompanied by a one armed trucker. The pair watch a girl sing with an older gentleman who seems quite smitten with the singer. Then the sheriff shows up and makes Covenant leave.

Am I doing it right?
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All are good so far...
O.K., almost all of them. Wink

Dang, now I will have to think some up too.

Keep them comin'!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hysterical Hysterical Hysterical
Very funny stuff, all.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

..Lord Foul, the 3 Ravers and Thomas Covenant walk in to a bar..The Bartender looks up and says.." GET The HELL Outta Here!!"
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TC and a Panda walk into a bar. They sit at a table and a waitress comes over and asks them what'll they have. TC says , a beer, and the Panda says a ham sandwich. The waitress serves them their order. The Panda munches down the sandwich stands up, pulls out a pistol, rips off 3 rounds into the ceiling and walks out. The waitress yells at TC,, What the heck was that all about?..TC shrugs and says,,I dunno know,,look it up, you'll figure it out. So the waitress goes over to the computer, googles Panda,,and reads what the Wikipedia has to say,," Panda..black and white smallish bear indigenous of China and Southeast Asia. Eats shoots and leafs."
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Covenant walks into a bar, he wakes up in The Land.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lurch is good at this. Side job perhaps?
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