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lurch Swamp Thang

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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:50 pm Post subject: |
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Thomas Covenant put the Krill back in to its sheath, turned around and immediately walks into a bar. Branl says, " I told you!" _________________ If she withdrew from exaltation, she would be forced to think- And every thought led to fear and contradictions; to dilemmas for which she was unprepared.
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Soarback Grayhare Stonedownor

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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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lurch wrote: | Linden Avery walks into Staves fist. |
You had me at this.  _________________ I walk a mile in your shoes
And now I'm a mile away
And I've got your shoes
---Comeback Story, Kings of Leon |
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lurch Swamp Thang

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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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Branl, Clyme, and TC go bird hunting one day. Only TC and Branl make it back.. _________________ If she withdrew from exaltation, she would be forced to think- And every thought led to fear and contradictions; to dilemmas for which she was unprepared.
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lurch Swamp Thang

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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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The Worm rumbles into a bar. The building shakes and quakes, the walls begin to crack, the roof begins to disintegrate. The bartender cowers saying," oh god, have mercy! " The Worm sniffs around and says, " don't worry, you don't serve EarthBlood here." turns around and rumbles out. Totally exasperated the bartender lets out, " what the hell was that?" Stephen Donaldson gets off his bar stool , pays his tab and says to the bartender.." I think I know how I'm going to end my book now.." _________________ If she withdrew from exaltation, she would be forced to think- And every thought led to fear and contradictions; to dilemmas for which she was unprepared.
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lurch Swamp Thang

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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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George R R Martin walked into a bar. Nobody lived to tell about it. _________________ If she withdrew from exaltation, she would be forced to think- And every thought led to fear and contradictions; to dilemmas for which she was unprepared.
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peter the spider from Mars

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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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Thomas Covenant walks into a bar, studies the cocktail menu and says to the barman "I'll have a 'Cesura' please." The barman says "Sorry pal - I haven't got the time." _________________ http://jhfv.blogspot.co.uk/
....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'
We are the Bloodguard |
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peter the spider from Mars

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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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He says "I'll have a pint of Earthblood then". The parman pulls it and puts it on the bar. TC says "By 'eck, that stuff works quick - I 'int even drunk it yet!" _________________ http://jhfv.blogspot.co.uk/
....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'
We are the Bloodguard |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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Hile Troy walks into a bar.
"Ouch!" |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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Covenant walks into a giants' bar after ignoring his VSE and treatment for a long time, and climbs up onto a stool to order a drink.
"Hey, look at the little guy" says one giant.
"What is he? He's kind of small for a giant" says another?
"Well, he's small and has green hands with no fingers - he must be a leper-echaun..." |
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ussusimiel Ghurning

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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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michaelm wrote: | Covenant walks into a giants' bar after ignoring his VSE and treatment for a long time, and climbs up onto a stool to order a drink.
"Hey, look at the little guy" says one giant.
"What is he? He's kind of small for a giant" says another?
"Well, he's small and has green hands with no fingers - he must be a leper-echaun..." |
This is hilarious!
Keep it up, mm.
u. _________________ Tho' all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There's no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for. |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:52 pm Post subject: |
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How many bloodguard does it take to change a million lightbulbs?
Only one.
"We will suffice". |
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peter the spider from Mars

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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?
The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice." _________________ http://jhfv.blogspot.co.uk/
....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'
We are the Bloodguard |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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Lord Foul's army has surrounded a tall hill on a foggy day, and his spies have informed him that one Bloodguard is the only person on top of the hill. Foul thinks about it, and as he has 10,000 ur-viles and 30,000 cavewights, he thinks that a thousand ur-viles and 3,000 cavewights should be enough to quickly wipe out the single Haruchai.
He sits back all smug while he hears the sound of combat through the fog and thinks that no matter how many of his troops he loses, the Haruchai has no chance.
After about 30 minutes it's silent, but his troops don't return, then a few minutes later a single ur-vile crawls into view through the fog.
"What happened?" asks Foul.
"We were wrong!" gasps the ur-vile, "There wasn't just one Bloodguard...there were two!" |
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aliantha 18k or bust!

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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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peter wrote: | Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?
The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice." |
Augh!  _________________
EZ Board Survivor
"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)
http://www.hearth-myth.com/ |
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Orlion Clairvoyant

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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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aliantha wrote: | peter wrote: | Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?
The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice." |
Augh!  |
Yeah, you're banned, Peter
 _________________ 'Tis dream to think that Reason can
Govern the reasoning creature, man.
- Herman Melville
I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all!
"All creation is a huge, ornate, imaginary, and unintended fiction; if it could be deciphered it would yield a single shocking word."
-John Crowley |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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Bannor walks into a bar.
The bar loses. |
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peter the spider from Mars

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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:02 am Post subject: |
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After a rough morning fighting Nom in the Great Dessert outside the walls of brathairelm the remaining Haruchai prepare a quick repast before the company reurns to the Giantship. Smacking her lips after a hefty quaff of Diamondraught Linden says "Damn Brinn man - that was good; how do you muthas do that?"
Brinn looks at her his expresion expresionless. "We serve ice."
[ Ok - that's it I promise.] _________________ http://jhfv.blogspot.co.uk/
....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'
We are the Bloodguard |
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ussusimiel Ghurning

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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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When Brinn jumps into a lake or river, the water gets Brinn.
(Adapted from a Chuck Norris joke.) _________________ Tho' all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There's no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for. |
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michaelm Kevin's Watchmaker

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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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Covenant walks into a bar and sees a sign: "Hot pies $2, handjobs $1"
He says to the woman behind the bar "Do you give handjobs?"
She replies "Yes, I sure do..."
"Well go wash your hands then, I want a pie" |
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Vraith LibTard, Mr. Reliable.

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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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ussusimiel wrote: | When Brinn jumps into a lake or river, the water gets Brinn.
(Adapted from a Chuck Norris joke.) |
That link is funny.
Googlemaps used to include driving directions from some places in the U.S. to London [and the reverse] that included the instruction:
"Swim 3470 miles"...
I don't think it does anymore.
But is u.'re joke really rooted in that, or in: Quote: |
Particle man
Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead? |
_________________ the difference between evidence and sources: whether they come from the horse's mouth or a horse's ass.
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"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
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the hyperbole is a beauty...for we are then allowed to say a little more than the truth...and language is more efficient when it goes beyond reality than when it stops short of it. |
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