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Covenant walks into a bar....
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lurch
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thomas Covenant put the Krill back in to its sheath, turned around and immediately walks into a bar. Branl says, " I told you!"
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lurch wrote:
Linden Avery walks into Staves fist.


You had me at this. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Branl, Clyme, and TC go bird hunting one day. Only TC and Branl make it back..
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Worm rumbles into a bar. The building shakes and quakes, the walls begin to crack, the roof begins to disintegrate. The bartender cowers saying," oh god, have mercy! " The Worm sniffs around and says, " don't worry, you don't serve EarthBlood here." turns around and rumbles out. Totally exasperated the bartender lets out, " what the hell was that?" Stephen Donaldson gets off his bar stool , pays his tab and says to the bartender.." I think I know how I'm going to end my book now.."
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

George R R Martin walked into a bar. Nobody lived to tell about it.
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thomas Covenant walks into a bar, studies the cocktail menu and says to the barman "I'll have a 'Cesura' please." The barman says "Sorry pal - I haven't got the time."
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....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He says "I'll have a pint of Earthblood then". The parman pulls it and puts it on the bar. TC says "By 'eck, that stuff works quick - I 'int even drunk it yet!"
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....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hile Troy walks into a bar.

"Ouch!"
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Covenant walks into a giants' bar after ignoring his VSE and treatment for a long time, and climbs up onto a stool to order a drink.

"Hey, look at the little guy" says one giant.

"What is he? He's kind of small for a giant" says another?

"Well, he's small and has green hands with no fingers - he must be a leper-echaun..."
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

michaelm wrote:
Covenant walks into a giants' bar after ignoring his VSE and treatment for a long time, and climbs up onto a stool to order a drink.

"Hey, look at the little guy" says one giant.

"What is he? He's kind of small for a giant" says another?

"Well, he's small and has green hands with no fingers - he must be a leper-echaun..."

Hysterical Hysterical Hysterical

This is hilarious!

Keep it up, mm.

u.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How many bloodguard does it take to change a million lightbulbs?

Only one.

"We will suffice".
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?

The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice."
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....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Foul's army has surrounded a tall hill on a foggy day, and his spies have informed him that one Bloodguard is the only person on top of the hill. Foul thinks about it, and as he has 10,000 ur-viles and 30,000 cavewights, he thinks that a thousand ur-viles and 3,000 cavewights should be enough to quickly wipe out the single Haruchai.

He sits back all smug while he hears the sound of combat through the fog and thinks that no matter how many of his troops he loses, the Haruchai has no chance.

After about 30 minutes it's silent, but his troops don't return, then a few minutes later a single ur-vile crawls into view through the fog.

"What happened?" asks Foul.

"We were wrong!" gasps the ur-vile, "There wasn't just one Bloodguard...there were two!"
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

peter wrote:
Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?

The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice."

Augh! Hit Head
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aliantha wrote:
peter wrote:
Twenty Bloodguard walk into a bar in the middle of an Antarctic whiteout. The barman looks up, startled to see so many customers arive all at one time. Wow! You guys are pretty hardcore - How d'yall make it through the blizzard like that?

The Bloodguard regard him impassionately. "We surf ice."

Augh! Hit Head


Yeah, you're banned, Peter

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bannor walks into a bar.

The bar loses.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a rough morning fighting Nom in the Great Dessert outside the walls of brathairelm the remaining Haruchai prepare a quick repast before the company reurns to the Giantship. Smacking her lips after a hefty quaff of Diamondraught Linden says "Damn Brinn man - that was good; how do you muthas do that?"

Brinn looks at her his expresion expresionless. "We serve ice."

[ Big Grin Ok - that's it I promise.]
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....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When Brinn jumps into a lake or river, the water gets Brinn.

(Adapted from a Chuck Norris joke.)
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Covenant walks into a bar and sees a sign: "Hot pies $2, handjobs $1"

He says to the woman behind the bar "Do you give handjobs?"

She replies "Yes, I sure do..."

"Well go wash your hands then, I want a pie"
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ussusimiel wrote:
When Brinn jumps into a lake or river, the water gets Brinn.

(Adapted from a Chuck Norris joke.)


That link is funny.
Googlemaps used to include driving directions from some places in the U.S. to London [and the reverse] that included the instruction:
"Swim 3470 miles"...
I don't think it does anymore.



But is u.'re joke really rooted in that, or in:
Quote:

Particle man
Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?

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