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TCTC The first draft Script
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Seafoam Understone
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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2004 4:36 pm    Post subject: and now another snippet Reply with quote

this will be the last snippet for a while... life is getting in the way again... but hold faith and fidelity as there will be more to come... probably the next snippet will be Covenant's meeting of Bannor and Lord Mhorham.
But for now here there are a lot of FADE IN/FADE OUTs as Saltheart is telling Covenant the story of the unhome... my own vision of course... but I give sneak peeks to Bhrathairain harbor, Elohims and the meeting of the Giants and Kevin and the beginning of the building of Revelstone... read on

Quote:

FADE TO
POV Covenant is no longer lying down but sitting length wise along the seat. His pack supports his back as his staff rests in the crook of one arm. The Giant at the stern is quiet now, watching his passenger. Then, casually he asks Covenant.

SALTHEART
Are you a story teller Thomas Covenant?

COVENANT
(absently)
I, was, once.

SALTHEART
(surprised)
And you gave it up? Ah, that is as sad a tale in three
words as any you might have told me.
But a life without a tale, is like a sea without salt.
How do you live?

POV Covenant closes his eyes tightly for a moment, then turns around in his seat still facing forward and rests his arms on the gunwales of the boat, he places his chin on his arms. Heís quiet and still absently he replies.

COVENANT
I live.

POV Saltheart face falls even further.

SALTHEART
(half teasing, half sympathetic)
Another? In two words, a story
sadder than the first. Say no more ... with one word
you will make me weep.

POV Covenant sitting upright and looking over his shoulder back at the Giant.

POV Saltheartís face has no mirth at all to it. It is contemplative as he stares back at Covenant.

POV Covenant regards his guide then turns back forward and shrugs his shoulders.

Pause

SALTHEART
Well, this is a bad pass for me.
Our journeying will not be easy and I had hoped
that you could lightened the leagues with a story.
But no matter. I judge you will tell no happy tales in
any case. Ravers. Waynhim and the
Andelainian Wraiths slain. Well, some of this
does not surprise me. Our old ones
have often guessed that Soulcrusher would not die
as easily as Kevin hoped. Stone and Sea. All that
Desecration ---- ravage and rapine ---- for a false hope.
(pauses)
But we have a saying, and it comforts
our children ó as few as they are ---- when they weep
for the nation, the homes and company of our people, which we lost ----
We say; ďJoy is in the ears that hear, not in the mouth that speaks.Ē
The world has few stories glad in themselves, and we must
have glad ears to defy Despite. Praise the Creator! Old Lord
Damelon Giantfriend knew the value of a good laugh.
When we reached the Land we were too grieved to fight for
the right to live.

POV CU Covenant shuts his eyes tightly at Foamfollowerís words. He whispers to himself tightly.

COVENANT
Did I laugh too much in so little time?

POV Foamfollower sitting behind Covenant, not noticing the pain his words are causing. He continues his narrative.

SALTHEART
You humans are an impatient lot. Do you think that
I ramble? Not a bit. I have come hastening to the point.
Since you have given up the telling of stories, and
since it appears that neither of us is happy enough to
withstand the recital of your adventures ó why, I must do
the telling myself. There is strength in stories ó heart rebirth and thew
binding ó and even Giants need strength when they have
to face tasks such as mine.

POV Covenant with his head on his arms as they cross the gunwales, opens his eyes and looks out into nothing. Softly his voice croaks.

COVENANT
Tell.

POV Saltheart sits up in his seat. His smile returns and he looks upon Covenant almost gratefully.

SALTHEART
Ali, that was not so bad. You recover despite yourself. Now then,
gladden your ears, and listen gaily, for I am no
purveyor of sorrows ó though in times of action we do not wince from facts.
If you ask me to re-sail your path here, I would require every detail of your
journey before I took three steps into the Hills.
Re-sailing is perilous, and too often return is
impossible, the path is lost, or the traveler changed
beyond hope of recovery.

POV Saltheart pauses and bends down to pick up a leather wine pouch. He unstops the end and holds the tiller under his arm as he lifts the pouch to his lips and drinks deeply from it. After a few swallows he lowers the pouch and carefully stops up the mouth and sets it down. Taking the tiller back into his hand he smacks his lips and grins broadly.





SALTHEART
But you must understand, Unbeliever
that selecting a tale is usually a matter for deliberation.
The old Giantish is a wealth of stories, and some take days in the
telling. Once as a child I heard three
times in succession the tale of Bahgoon the Unbearable
and Thelma Twofist, who tamed him ó now that was
a story worth the laughter ó but nine days
were gone before I knew it. However, you do not speak Giantish,
and the translation is a long task, even for Giants, so the
problem of selection is simplified. But the lore of our life in
Seareach since our ships found the Land
contains many times many stories ó tales of the reigns
of Damelon Giantfriend and Loric Vilesilencer and Kevin, who is
now called Landwaster ó tales of the building, carving
out of the mountain, of Revelstone, revered rock, a Ďhandmark of
allegiance and fealty in the eternal stone of time. But, again selection is easy
because you are a stranger. I will tell you the first story of
the Seareach Giants the song of the Unhomed.

The Giant pauses in his narrative to drink again from his wine sack and as he does so the scene changes from a slow fade out to fade in to illustrate the Giantís story.

We are the Unhomed --
lost voyagers of the world.
In the land beyond the Sunbirth Sea
we lived and had our homes and grew --
and set our sails to the wind,
unheeding of the peril of the lost.
We are the Unhomed.
From home and hearth,
stone sacred dwellings crafted by our reverent hands,
we set our sails to the wind of the stars,
and carried life to lands across the earth,
careless of the peril of our loss.
We are the Unhomed --
lost voyagers of the world.
From desert shore to high cliff crag,
home of men and sylvan sea-edge faery lands --
from dream to dream we set our sails,
and smiled at the rainbow of our loss.
Now we are Unhomed,
bereft of root and kith and kin.
From other mysteries of delight,
we set our sails to resail our track;
but the winds of life blew not the way we chose,
and the land beyond the Sea was lost.



POV FADE IN

A rolling sea with no horizons as the camera pans across the surface. Soon a shipís prow appears followed by the sides being washed from the spray. The camera moves back and we see that the ship is made out of stone, granite in color and composition. As the camera continues to show us more of the ship we see it is similar to the old sailing ships of the 1700's The styling is a blend of English Clippers, Spanish Galleons and Chinese Junks. There are seven of them spaced out in a loose formation. The ships we see are huge, sized for Giants. The scale is fitted to Giants but thereís still a sense of immensity as we view the three masted ship. Giants are high in the rigging and moving along the main deck. At the wheel stands a seaman with a tall figure behind them shouting orders. The camera pans up and high over the ship giving us a gullís eye view of the ship below.
All sails are rigged and the ship moves across the water despite the weight of the granite of itís hull.

POV FADE OUT/IN

High (gullís view) angle of two of the ships pulling into a port. The size of the ship dwarfs all others in the harbor as it pulls into a dock...one made for a ship of that size. The view circles the harbor and we can see a portion of the port city, just on the edge of the screen to our right we see a towering edifice like co-centric circles stacked on-top of each other ending at the top with a tall spire, surrounding the city is a large wall that is half built. Behind the wall is a large expanse of desert going off to the horizon. The slow circling pan moves us out of the view of the ship and

FADE OUT/IN

The giant ships are moving through a storm. As the ďgullís eyeĒ moves closer we can see giants in the rigging clewing canvas to the yard-arms, the gullís eye moves closer to a particular group of giants high in the upper most spars working mightly to pull in sail, their faces all laughter and glee at the challenge the storm is presenting them.

FADE OUT/IN

Gullís eye view of the giantships pulling near a rocky shoreline. Quick fade/in closer to a small group of Giants standing in front of a group of normal sized humans. The humans are dressed in thin rainments of almost sheer multi-colored fabric, the group of Giants bow low to the humans in homage. There are smiles all around.

FADE OUT/IN

Another storm and the giants work hard in it. A zooming pan close up/move-away shows that this time itís serious as there are no smiles on any of the giants up in the rigging. Sails are being torn and cut away and the gullís eye moves around and around in a spin.

FADE OUT/IN

Several of the giantships are on a shore, two of them lean hard to one side or the other. We can see still another limping in to meet up with itís brethren while still another is half sunk and long boats are moving away. The rest are anchored some distance away. We move in shore and come up behind a small group of giants standing facing a tall cliff some hundred feet away. Their clothes are torn in places, one is wounded as evident of their leaning against a companion for support.

FADE OUT/IN

Giants are in the cliffs carving out homes for themselves in the form of caves suited for their size. It is a cliff city reminiscent of the Anasazi and Pueblo Indians with several levels of wonderfully carved stairs and openings. No two are exactly alike. There is activity all around the cliff faces and along the shore. Parts of the damaged giantships seem to be cannibalized.

FADE OUT/IN

POV behind a small group of Giants are walking up a natural staircase to a cliffís edge. The camera follows the lead giants where they crest the ridge and come across a group of 10-12 humans. One of them we recognize as Kevin. Gullís eye is level at first as the humans approach the Giants closely guarded by a dark skinned race of humans wearing short tunics. The one named Kevin steps up boldly to the lead giant and bows holding his staff level with his head. The giants stare for a moment and then throw back their heads to laugh.


FADE OUT/IN

POV Behind a group of people and Giants as they are looking towards yet another cliff. This one massive and amazingly we can see tiny frame-works around the front of it that could only be scaffolding as a city is being carved out of the cliff face itself. Giants are conferring with humans in bright blue robes over plans and drawings. Ever-present are the dark-skinned warriors looking at the construction with impassive faces.

FADE OUT/IN

POV Gullís eye as it soars away from the group of Giants and humans and lifts up into the blue skies above them. We follow the path as it circles around and then face earthward again to see a river snaking peacefully through lush green hills. As we descend we spy the long-boat used by Covenant and Foamfollower. The view moves gracefully towards the boat until it reaches the Giantís bearded face. His face is serene and calm as he concludes his narrative.

SALTHEART

Stone and Sea! We are a long-lived people, compared to your humans
I was born on shipboard during the short voyage which saved us
from the Desecration, and my great-grandparents were among the first
wanderers. And we have so few children. Rarely does any woman bear
more than one child. So now there are 500 of us, and our
vitality narrows with each generation.
We cannot forget.

POV Saltheartís face is quiet, no smile touches his face. A tear courses slowly down his face.

POV Covenant rising up from his reclining position looks silently at the Giant seated before him. His face too shows no emotion. The giant sees this and gives a wan smile.

SALTHEART

Laugh, Thomas Covenant laugh for me.
Joy is in the ears that hear.

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PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2004 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that the effort here is noble; however, I am getting the distinct feeling that you are going to end up with a movie that will make the LotRs trilogy look like a sitcom in length.

I guess the question is of what your intentions are in terms of a final product. Is this an exercise in fun -- essentially a rewrite of the novels (of sorts) as a screenplay? Or is this something that you will very much be considering submitting for an actual potential movie production.

If it's just for fun, I'd say continue to plug away at it as you have; however, if it's for actual, potential production, then you might want to look at -- and I hate saying this because I love the books -- trimming back a lot more.

It'd be a monumental endeavor to cast these books into a screenplay format that would please the long-time fans while concurrently roping in new ones. The Harry Potter movies were good for what they were, but always extremely disappointing compared to the books.

Just wanted to throw in my two cents here on things to bear in mind. Best of luck to you!
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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2004 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate that and am doing this for several reasons. One is to hopefully submit it for production...if it gets accepted. Thousands of screen plays hit the major (and minor) studios each year and only a few actually get a once over.
Yes, the length of this FIRST DRAFT is already turning out to be well over two and half hours and Covenant hasn't even gotten to Revelstone. I read once that a page of script equals to a minute of screen time. Right now I'm just half way. Obviously it will be trimmed back considerably but that isn't for me to decide but the producers and director who will (if accepted Rolling Eyes ) will send the copy back with red ink all over it saying trim this and cut that.
True, movies rarely turn out like their novels. I've seen only a few that have come close. The Potter movies are very well done considering what they had to work with and the length of those novels. LOTR's same thing. What LOTRs had going for it was that the director, Jackson cared enough about the story to make sure that it got the attention that it deserved... particularly asking the actors and crew to re-shoot and add on scenes for the expanded versions of the DVD's.
It is fun and educational for me. I have tons of my own ideas for scripts and whatnots... LFB is my second attempt at an "adapted screenplay" and thus far the furthest that I've gotten so far.. mainly because... of the feedback from folks at the Watch.

Thanks.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seafoam, I think it's really good. Just finally got a chance to read it.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I was curious what ever became of this project? Smile
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good old Seafoam. The last I saw of him he said he was really busy but was still working on the script.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Iryssa wrote:
*sigh* Viggo...*her eyes become distant and a small smile plays on her lips*

*shakes herself out of daze* Sorry...where was I?
Wink


LOL! Is your boyfriend aware of your Viggo-obsession? Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 7:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seafoam hasn't posted since September. I hope he's all right.
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like I'm watching a LOTR special feature, learning how to turn a novel into a screen play. Its been an interesting thread.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alas, my friends, life got in the way and a struggle for survival that makes TC's time in Mount Thunder look like a toy fight in a daycare center.
This is as far as I've gotten and you're welcomed to it.
I will be writing more but only to satisfy my own perverse longing to see a project finished.
More accomplished writers than I, and PAID writers have achieved what I laboured for free.
Scroll up in this thread and you'll see where the (below) picks up.
I'll write more... it'll take time as I'm struggling right now to pay my rent, and other bills. Winters are always hardest for me and instead of "living" when I began the script, I am now at surviving.
I appreciate the praise and what-nots... I've not come to Kevin's Watch in a while. Aye, from last post to this one it's been nearly six months I think.
Still, you're all missed.
Peace and Hail to all on the Watch!
~Seafoam~
Quote:
POV Covenant rising up from his reclining position looks silently at the Giant seated before him. His face too shows no emotion. The giant sees this and gives a wan smile.

SALTHEART

Laugh, Thomas Covenant laugh for me.
Joy is in the ears that hear.

POV Covenant stares at the Giant then turns away.

COVENANT
(scowling)
Iím hungry.

POV Foamfollowerís smile vanishes and his eyes darken. A moment later they brighten again and he lifts his head back and laughs loudly, the humor coming straight from his heart. He smiles broadly down at Covenant who has turned and looks at the Giant in disbelief.

SALTHEART
Hungry? Of course you are hungry.
Bravely said. I should have offered you food earlier
You have the transparent look of a man who has eaten only aliantha
for days. Some old seers say that privation refines the soul
but I say it is soon enough to refine the soul when
the body has no other choice.

POV The giant grins and points to a spot just beneath him. With a foot he shoves a (very) large leather sack towards Covenant.

SALTHEART
Happily I am well supplied with food.

POV Covenant turns in his seat and is straddling the bench. He reaches for the sack and begins to draw it towards him but it is far heavier than it looks. He pulls at it with both hands and manages it get it close to him. He unties the cordage holding the top together and unveils a copious amount of food. He draws out huge pieces of jerky and cheese along with a loaf of bread as big as his whole arm. He sets these aside and reaches in the sack again and pulls out a tangerine as big as two of his fists. He sets it aside and looks in the sack again and pulls out a leather bound jug. His face strains as he lifts the jug up and out of the sack and onto the floor. He grabs at the Tangerine and stares up at the Giant incredulously. He shakes his head and begins to tear open the thick skin of the fruit.

POV Above the travelers in the river. Faintly we can hear Saltheartís voice as he sings. The craft continues itís way upstream. High above and off to the right of the screenís edge a wing briefly appears then vanishes off screen. They are still being followed unaware.

POV Covenant leaning back against the gunwales of the boat holding his belly. He looks full and belches deeply. Then he sits back up and looks around. He spies the jug on the floor where he left it. With effort he lifts it up and sets it in front of him on the bench. Saltheartís voice can be heard.

SALTHEART
That is Diamondraught. It is a vital brew.
Perhaps I should ó No, the more I look at you
my friend the more weariness I see.
Just drink from the jug and it will aid your rest.

POV Covenant works the thick cork stopping the mouth until itís free and puts it aside. He heaves the jug up and manages to take two deep swallows. His face immediately relaxes and the sign of strain and weariness begins to fade. He takes two more swallows from the jug before being forced to put it back down from itís weight. Without a word he stops the jug back up with the cork and places it on the floor besides the Giantís foot. Then carefully he replaces the uneaten portions of food back into the sack. He sits back upright and swoons. Shaking his head he leans back against the side and lays there sated. In a few moments his eyes closes and he is asleep.

POV Saltheart stares down at the man. He contemplates his charge. With a grin he looks towards the river again. He reaches down and picks up the jug of diamondraught and unstops the cork and drinks deeply from it. Heís able to lift the jug with only one hand.

POV Covenant now sleeping on his side. His arms cradling his head. His face is peaceful at first then contorts to a grimace. He is dreaming.

POV Covenantís dream overtakes the visual of his sleeping form. Images of the moon turning red with blood. Villages in flames, people screaming in terror and pain. This fades out to blackness then a red light begins to glow and grow larger. From out of the depths a siren is heard and then loudly a scream of tires accompanied by the sight of a carís grill moving fast and then stopping suddenly filling up the screen. This fades to a copís face scowling beneath his uniform cap. Behind him other faces appear.

COP
You got in my way! That was wrong.
You ought to be ashamed.

Other voices take up a chant.

VO Crowd
That was wrong, that was wrong that was wrong.
POV the crowd surrounding Covenant as he lays on the street. All chanting then suddenly all of them vomit blood on to the pavement around him. He looks around in horror trying to find a spot to flee but heís surrounded by blood and there is no clear path he can go through without touching it. All of the people now point at him, pointing at his hands. Covenant raises his arms and looks down at his hands.

POV CU Covenantís hands are spotted horribly with purple and blue leprous spots. They begin to swell and crack open, yellowed pus oozes out of the wounds.

POV Above the scene two white uniformed brawny men come out of the crowd with a stretcher. They bend down and manhandle Covenant on to it then lift it up to waist height. Instead of bringing him to an ambulance they spin him slowly around for the crowd to see and jeer at him. Their mouths stained with blood.

POV CU Covenantís frightened face. He tries to mouth some words but no sound comes out. He struggles again and the two men force his shoulder back down on to the stretcher pinning him there.
Covenant manages to shout aloud.

COVENANT
I donít believe this!

POV A man steps out of the crowd and points angrily at him. He wears a neat pin-striped suit. His mouth is stained with blood as like the others. Blood also stains the front of his tie and shirt. He tries to get close to Covenant but one of the brawny ambulance drivers holds him back with a stiff arm.
The man leans against the arm and points at Covenant over it. Heís yelling.

MAN IN SUIT

He doesnít believe us! He doesnít believe this.
Youíre dead and you donít even know it. You canít live. Youíre not
one of us anymore. Life is in the community and you
have no community. You canít live if no-one cares about you.

CROWD
(in unison behind the manís voice)
That was wrong, that was wrong, that was wrong.

POV The man in the suit stops pointing at Covenant and grasps the sleeve of the burly manís arm. He sneers in the ambulance driverís face.

MAN IN SUIT
Take him to the Hospital.
Heal him. There is only one good answer to death.
Heal him and then throw him out.

POV The ambulance men then wheel Covenant towards the thick of the crowd and they part to let them by, theyíre still chanting their dirge. The ambulanceís doors open wide by themselves and the burly men lower the stretcher to carrying position and lift Covenant up and literally toss him in. The doors of the ambulance slam shut with a boom.

POV Inside the ambulance Covenant lays there in fright. The ambulance begins to move and Covenant begins to fight for balance. But the vehicle is careening too wildly and Covenant rolls off the stretcher and begins to fall.

POV Covenant falling and continues to fall and he screams a scream of the damned and it echos as the screen fades.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

EXT. CENTER PLAINS EST. DAY

POV Covenant is lying covered under a blanket asleep. Behind him still at the tiller of the boat is Foamfollower. He is looking haggard and lean. Covenant stirs from under the blanket as the boat is wrestling some mild white-water on the river. Covenantís eyes fly open and he sits upright the blanket falling from his shoulders. Heís almost knocked out of his seat by a sudden dip of the boat as it hit a low spot in the current. Covenant grabs the gunwales to keep himself from falling.

SALTHEART
Ah, your pardon my friend.
Here are where three rivers meet and the joining is
not a peaceful one.

POV Covenant turns to the Giant he tries to ask a question but the pitching of the boat prevents him from asking it in favor of hanging on for dear life. The Giant is smiling broadly but he looks weak, still he points ahead of them, Covenantís eyes follow the direction the Giant is leading and his eyes open wide.

POV The bow of the boat is just within view as we see not too far ahead a sight of two watercourses flowing into one river. The one on the farthest right is the smoothest of them all. The other two have hard rapids and the two boil into one, the one that the travelers are on. Foamfollower has to now shout to make himself heard over the roar of the three rivers.

SALTHEART
Trothgard lies ahead! Here we turn north.
The White River! The Gray comes from the West.

POV As Foamfollower pauses in his narrative to bring the boat back under control as it tries to capsize just as it enters the edge of the junction. He sings strongly in his Giantish tongue to bring the boat back under control and then manages to control the wild pitching enough to steer it where he needs them to go.

POV The boat moves impossibly against the strong current that makes up the rapids of the two rivers. Covenant is crouching and hanging on tight where he is. Foamfollower with the tiller up high under his arm and straining to direct the craft to the right. Water splashes over the sides drenching them both. Covenant tries to avoid getting hit full in the face by a wall of water and fails miserably. The Giantís height gives him the advantage but balance is sorely needed as the boat rocks wildly up and down and side to side.

Moments later the boat successfully makes it past the worse of the rapids and begins to settle somewhat. Eventually theyíre in a calm and the craft works itís way to the center of the White River, still moving against the current.

POV Foamfollower leans heavily against the arm of the tiller and wipes his brow with the sleeve of his shirt. He gestures to Covenant for the jug of diamondraught. Covenant works his way to the back of the boat and wrestles the jug but not as unwieldy as he did before. He lifts it up to the Giant with both hands while struggling to keep his balance. The Giant nods in appreciation as he lifts the jug easily from Covenantís hands. He holds it down so that Covenant can pull the cork out, then lifts the vessel to his lips and drinks deeply. Smacking his lips he returns the jug back to Covenant and turns his attention back to the river. As Covenant replaces the cork and places it back on the floor of the boat the Giant speaks. His voice is notably stronger but it still trembles from exertion.

SALTHEART
Your pardon. I am losing my seamanship.
We are seventy leagues from Lords Keep. Soon we shall be there.
There we shall find rest and healing for all our ills.

POV Covenant looks at the Giant and can see that the man needs rest. He tries to help out.

COVENANT
Here, let me help. Iíll steer, you rest.

POV Foamfollower looks down at the human for a moment then laughs heartily.

SALTHEART
Thank you my friend, but it would not be possible.

POV Covenant is taken aback.

COVENANT
Why not? It canít be that hard.
Just got to keep it pointed in the right direction donít I?

Again the Giant laughs though he is not mocking Covenant.

SALTHEART
Ah, were it that simple. But alas it is not.
You questioned me earlier about how this vessel moves.
In sooth it is I who propel the craft by calling out to the power
of the Gildenlode wood. Are you versed in the tongue
of my people? I think not. Thus only I am able to finish our
journey. Fear not, Iíve enough diamondraught
to last the rest of the way.

POV The Giant again wipes the sweat from his brow and his shoulders sagged as he sat back down, lowering the tiller with him.

SALTHEART
Ah, my friend, even giants are not made to do such things.

POV Covenant shrugs helplessly.

COVENANT
There must be something I can do?

POV Foamfollower nods in agreement.

SALTHEART
Stone and Sea! Of course you can.
And yet the very fact of asking shows that you cannot.
Some unwillingness or ignorance prevents.

POV Covenantís face turns away for a moment scowling more at himself. Then he turns back to the Giant.

COVENANT
Do you want my ring?

SALTHEART
Want? Want? Do not use such a word
my friend. Wanting is natural, and may succeed or
fail without wrong. Say covet, rather. To covet is to desire
something which should not be given. Yes, I covet
your un-Earth, wild magic, peace ending white gold:

There is wild magic graven in every rock,
contained for white gold to unleash or control...

I admit the desire. But do not tempt me. Power has a way of
revenging itself upon itís usurpers. I would not
accept this ring if you offered it to me.

POV Covenant looks down at the floor for a moment then back up at the Giant.

COVENANT
But, you do know how to use it?

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, welcome back, Seafoam! Glad to know you're still kicking around! We missed you very much in the Dissection forum.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah for shame! I thought I had included the rape scene I written for the script and after scanning through all the posts here found that I had not. Thus... here it is... lemme know what ya'll think!

Quote:
POV Atiaran moves to a small platform in the middle of the circle. Like everything else itís made of stone and round in shape. Atiaran steps up onto it. A respectful silence falls on the watching STONEDOWN and Atiaran closes her eyes as if in silent prayer then begins.

ATIARAN
I will sing the legend of
Berek Halfhand Lord Fatherer
(pauses then begins song)

POV Covenant listening for a few moments then a scowl comes on his face and he turns to leave. Lena is listening with the rest of the STONEDOWN intently and doesnít notice.

POV Covenant is some distance from the crowd and stops to look at them. Then squaring his shoulders he continues away.

POV Bridge over the Mithil as Covenant reaches the edge of the river. He stops here and sits on the low railing at the end. Places his head into his hands. His shoulders shake as if he is weeping.

POV CU Covenant raises his hands and looks at them.

POV EX. CU Covenantís hands lit by the moonlight. His right hand maimed of two fingers and his left with the white-gold ring gleaming in the soft moonlight. They close slowly into fists and tremble.

POV CU Covenant looks up from his hands to the STONEDOWN and shakes his head.


COVENANT
(whispering to himself)
Iím not their bloody Berek!
Iím nobody, a leper. ... God help me!

POV Covenant puts his head back into his hands.

POV Lena as she walks with a handled pot full of graveling. The contents glow highlighting her face and body. She approaches Covenant slowly. When she reaches him she stands quietly next to him.

LENA
Thomas Covenant?
Are you not well?

POV Covenant looks up at her. His voice grating with suppressed emotion.

COVENANT
No! Iím not well. Nothingís well
and it hasnít been since ó
Since I was divorced.

POV Lenaís shoulders sag in sadness for her new friend. She gently touches his shoulder.

LENA
(quietly)
I know a place where you may be alone.

POV Covenant stares for a moment. Then nods and gets up from his seat and follows Lena across the bridge.

POV Covenant following Lena along the river bank. Tall trees cast shadows along the walk. A short distance and Lena stops to kneel by a wide shore of sand. She sets the graveling pot besides her and with her hands scoops a shallow bowl from the sand and places the sand to one side. Almost reverently she brushes the sand from her palms and fingers.

POV CU Lena dumps the graveling from the pot into the shallow bowl she created. The graveling glow becomes wider now itís not confined by the sides of the pot. She finds a short stick and works to spread the graveling for best effect.

POV Covenant kneels down opposite Lena as she places the stick to one side and stands up. Covenant ignores her and stretches his hands out to warm them. Lena watches him for a moment then turns to leave. She hesitates.

LENA
Shall I go?

POV CU Covenantís face scowls at the suggestion. He looks around.

POV PAN The river bank where nothing but trees, grass and water can be seen. It is dark and the shadows play tricks.

POV Covenant gets up awkwardly and paces a few feet from Lena and the glowing graveling. His back is turned to her.

POV Covenantís face is a mix of anger, pain, loss, sorrow and fear. Lena stands by the glow of the
graveling behind him.

COVENANT
(neutral)
What do you want?

POV CU Lena her eyes moist

LENA
I want to know more of you.

POV CU Covenant winces at the suggestion. He struggles and then stands erect again. Still with his back turned to her.

COVENANT
Ask

LENA
Are you married?

POV Covenantís eyes are distressed. He turns to her quickly as if she stabbed him. His face is snarling, angry at her for bringing up a painful topic. He regains his composure. Then defeated.

COVENANT
No. Yes. No. It, it doesnít matter.
Why are you asking?

POV Lena by the graveling. She sits on her feet and watches him. Covenant waits for her answer and when none is forthcoming he begins to pace, fiercely tugging at his wedding ring.

LENA
There is a man who desires to marry me.
He is Trilock, son of Thuler. Though I am not of age
he woos me, so that when the time comes I will make
no other choice. But if I were of age now I would not marry him.
Oh he is a good man in his own way. But there are
too many wonders in this world, too much power and beauty.
And I have not seen the Ranyhyn. I could not marry a man
who desires a suru-pa-maerl for a wife.
I want to go to the Loresraat as my mother did.
I would stay and not falter no matter what the trials the Lore
puts upon me. Until I become a Lord.
Do you think I can do this?



POV Covenant turns his head, not sure whatís going on. He shrugs and asks

COVENANT
How do your people marry?

Lena smiles brightly and answers

LENA
It is a simple thing. When a man and woman choose each other. The
two have become friends, and if they wish to marry
they tell the Circle of Elders and the Elders take
a season to assure themselves that the friendship
of the two is secure with no
hidden jealousy or failed promise behind them to disturb
their course in later years.
Then the Stonedown gathers in the center
and the Elders take the two in their arms and ask
ďDo you wish to share life, in joy and sorrow, work and rest,
peace and struggle, to make the Land new?
The two answer Life with life, we choose to share the blessing
and the service of the Earth.
The Stonedown shouts It is good. Let there be life and joy
and power while the years last.
Then the day is spent celebrating and gift giving.

POV Covenant doesnít seem to be listening. Heís breathing hard and struggles with himself.

COVENANT
I gave Joan, my wife a pair of riding boots.
Riding boots! Does my impotence
surprise you?

Lenaís smile fades and she moves towards Covenant. She reaches out to comfort him but the rigor of his back tells her itís not a good idea.

LENA
(softly)
What happened to your wife?

Covenantís shoulders jerk as if she stabbed him. Then with a deep breath he sighs

COVENANT
Sheís gone.

POV Covenant steps away from Lena and picks up a rock and angrily throws it into the water.
Lena steps towards him again, her face lined with sorrow for her new friend.

LENA
How did she die?

COVENANT
Not her, me. She left me. Divorced
(more to himself)
Just when I needed her the most.


POV CU Lenaís face is shocked.

LENA
Why would such a thing happen?
While there is still life in you both?

POV Covenant whirls upon Lena, his hands clenched in fists. Rage over his face, rage and pain of loss.

COVENANT
Iím not alive! Iím a leper. Outcast!
Unclean! Lepers are ugly and filthy. And abominable.

POV Lena shocked and angry.

LENA
How can this be? You are not a-ab-abominable.
What world is it that dares treat you so?

POV CU Covenantís face is wild and he turns his back to her again. He wraps his arms around himself as if to contain his ire. He looks up around him.

COVENANT
Itís real. That is reality. Fact! The kind of thing
thatíll kill you if you donít believe it. This place--
(gesturing around him)
This is a nightmare!

POV Lena squares her shoulders. Indignant!

LENA
I do not believe it!
It may be thus in your world, but the Land
The Land is real!

POV EX CU Covenant with Lena behind him over his shoulder. His voice low and dangerous.

COVENANT
Are you trying to drive me crazy?

POV Lenaís courage evaporates with the ominous tone in Covenantís voice. She takes a step back.

POV The view becomes hazy and disjointed. Two things are happening at once. Foulís laughter is soft in the background as Covenant turns to her slowly and instead of seeing her he sees a vision. The people of the land being driven from their homes by strange creatures bringing fire and swords.
They are urviles and cavewrights. Urviles are short creatures, black in skin and bald wearing only short loincloths at their waists. Their faces smooth with no eyes and noses but two small nostrils and a mouth lined with short sharp white teeth that contrasts vividly with their black skin. Small pointed ears sit high upon either side of their oval shaped heads. Their arms are short for their muscular bodies and their legs equally so. Some of them run on all fours and others run upright as it suits them. They charge after running people, hacking and slashing at them.
Cavewrights are similar to Drool but shorter and more powerfully built. They wreck their havoc on the stone homes of the people. One is powerful enough to destroy a house single handedly but they work in tandem to speed up the destruction.


POV Covenant now sees Lena, his face is livid with desire. His breathing is short and harsh. He steps to her and backhands her roughly sending her to the ground but she catches her self. As she does so he reaches out for her and grabs the front of her dress. It tears in his grasp and her breasts are revealed. Covenantís eyes go wide at the sight of them. She tries to step back but trips over a small stone and falls. Covenant stands above her. Foulís laughter is louder.

POV View shifts or is blended with the sight of Lena laying on the ground. Foulís armies marching upon the Land, wrecking havoc as they go. Human armies are mowed down by the might of the black and terrible armies they face. Urviles form in huge triangles and black bolts of power smash into columns of soldiers as they try to resist. Flames roar over the scene as we see Covenant falling down towards Lena and pressing his body against her. He fumbles with his pants and rips open Lenaís dress til there is nothing in the way. She wears a short white linen shift around her waist and he pulls at that. Lena screams in terror and pain as Covenant thrusts against her.

POV Lenaís screams echo as we see Foulís armies marching upon a huge city that seems cut into a tall cliff face which towers over the armies for a thousand feet. The walls of the city crumble as green bolts smash into them and soldiers firing arrows fall from the impact. We see the Lords, dressed in blue robes welding staffs that shoot blue bolts of power at the wedges of Urviles and columns of cavewrights. They seem to have no effect. Foulís laughter is loud in triumph as one Lord after another falls victim to a blast of black might from the Urviles wedges.
The scene changes to the hooded visage of Foul with the city behind/through him in flames. Red eyes shine through the blackness of his hooded face. Flames roar in the foreground and the scene changes to a CU of Covenant throwing his head back and yelling out as if in pain and pleasure.
He rolls off of Lena and lays on his back, he chuckles to himself, eyes closed and we see Lena laying besides him, covering her breast with her arm and crying.

FADE OUT

I've always seen Lena's rape as the symbolic act of Foul raping the Land. The tearing and ravaging of the Earth and the people who love it. It's an idea anyway. Rolling Eyes
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Wow. Seafoam. Awesome.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never saw this thread before tonight.
As I read it, I could only view it as an attempt to turn almost the novel form into screenplay form.
It could never be filmed, no director would work with a script that long and detailed and complete.
There are whole, large chunks of dialogue straight out of the novel.
I'm a little torn between starting it off on the Watch and instantly jumping to the the real world again.
I like flashback where you get a lot of the background on leprosy. That could also work during the translation to the Land.
Here's a little point. Impotence. It is a side effect of leprosy. But I had always got the idea that Covenant's leprosy was in his head.
From White Gold Wielder. So the inclusion of "you'll never have a woman again" in that threw me a little. Not saying it's wrong. There would need to be an impotence reference somehow, and that's as good as any. But it was a little different view of the character. Impotence was something Covenant did to himself.
I'm no scriptwriter and couldn't do what you've done. But if I were, here's the big things I'd do.
The script absolutely has to be shorter. A novel audience is the only ones capable of getting past the rape, and there are VERY many who can't do that.
It is a tricky part of the story and trickier still in a movie. To be successful commercially ( and it has to be a possible success to get produced) you have to thread that needle, AND cut it down.
Lena leads Covenant off to a place he can rest by himself. Atiaran wakes him up the next day.
No Triock. No first trip to Soaring Woodhelvin. Have the gift of the Hirebrand's staff handled some other way. Perhaps one at a Waymeet. Something else.
A murdered Waynhim and the attack on the Celebration of Spring are enough to have Atiaran hating Covenant by the time she reaches the Soulease River.
That saves you a TON of space in the movie. Covenant can attempt to save the Wraiths, and just fail. He can help move Atiaran forward at one point. He can be seen as slightly heroic, despite his denials.
In a movie environment, you just can't get away with the rape out front like that. He would be a rapist. The movie might be condemned, would certainly get an anti-family rating by the Catholic Church.
And a movie audience is not going to understand why Atiaran can forgive the rape so easy, but can't forgive the slaughter at the Celebration, when one is a very normal humany crime but the other involves an exertion of power Covenant has denied is in his realm of possibles.
you leave the rape up front, leave in Triock and Atiaran becomes an unsympathetic character.
you handle the rape in flashback at Manhome with the obvious parallels with Winhome Gay.
Doing it in the movie environment, you have a sick man who has shown flashes of heroism THEN revealed to be impelled by guilt, (with perhaps some strange flashes in his dreams preceding this) and it will all come together.
You've got to save time, you've got to keep people from hating Atiaran and from hating Covenant. You have to lose Triock, lose Soaring Woodhelvin's first appearance, and move the rape back.
That's my thoughts.
Oh, and while the line of Covenant winking at the audience and saying, "i'll never do that again" would be nice FOR fans, it is absolutely out of character for him to say, "Thank God."
Hellfire would work But I wouldn't waste the time there, either.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to disagree. While it's risky, the rape isn't as big a problem as there being no real resolution at the end of the film. And IMO the controversy the film would stir up would nearly double it's revenue. It would haveto be someone's King Kong, a film someone has to wait to make until after they're successful.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always envisioned an opening where we see TC more as a passing shadow and "thru his eyes " while he was walking in town. The closups would be people staring at him while he walked down the street. The comments would be protrayed as "thoughs" being as a background voice(s).
Only when he would enter the building to pay his bill would we see what he looked like.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not to mention what about Elena? One of the things I got from the rape was that it had consequences and it never "went away". He was never able to put it behind him, so to speak, because the consequences were huge and repeatedly thrown into his path and the plot.

No, the tension and twisted dynamics between Covenant and Elena don't work without it.

Also, the leprosarium is absolutely crucial for at least a partial visit. Leprosy is necessary both for gaining sympathy and empapthy from the viewer for the impending rape, and it's such an integral part of WHY he can't afford to believe in the land.

Or else, why deny the reality so much? As I remember it, covenant could not afford hope. That is why he wears the badge of Unbeliever. It takes a serious condition to earn such stubbornness.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't say abandon the rape. I just think it would be torpedo the movie if it's RIGHT there on the first reel.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YeaH, I always thought fifteen minutes for the intro so the audience can understand Cov, then meets Lena on KW.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like it takes place about page 100, so if we're assuming a two hour flick, at least, and the screenplay follows the book closely enough, it should be roughly 30 minutes into the movie before we are thrown into that moral dilemma of sympathy for Covenant.

That gives plenty of time to cover the isolation and despair associated with Leprosy. The physiological limitations and detail; the grotesque nature of the disease, and most important - the lack of affordability of hope for any recovery in any form.

For a hollywood driven audience to forgive Covenant, I personally believe it will require a *huge* dose of "unbelief". The anger associated with "hope" coupled with the conviction that this is a lucid dream.

It explores an arguably common human query: Would we do immoral things if we truly believe they have no consequence on anyone else? Would we kill someone just to know what it feels like if we know we are dreaming and that no one will actually be hurt? And then Donaldson's implication...even if those conditions are met, are we not hurting ourselves?

I think if it was met with a more psychological twist, it would be far easier for an audience to go along with it and even sympathize with Covenant.
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