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Problem with Morn's Gap Sickness

 
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 1:39 pm    Post subject: Problem with Morn's Gap Sickness Reply with quote

Most assuredly, she had to have crossed the gap and then have gone under heavy g when in training, right? Had it just not happened yet? I'm confused. She was out on her first mission during the beginning of the novel, correct?


I ask because I'm writing a pilot episode. I want to make it happen, and the more help I can get, the better.



I just finished reading the fifth and final book. In terribly sad about this, and I'll miss them all as a first time reader. It's my goal to accomplish writing this series as a series of what ideally would be a 10 episode/ four season series on HBO. I'll post the first few pages in this thread sometime soon or in a different, new, specific thread.

Thanks for any input.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2015 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The answer's in the pages.

In The Real Story was wrote:
"How many times have you crossed the gap?"

"Twice," she answered, cowed not by his irritation but by her own despair.

"Twice," he echoed viciously. "Of course. Cops like you have to be deep-space certified. So they test you in the Academy. To weed out the crazies who get gapsickness. And then you had to reach Com-Mine Station. You've only crossed the gap twice because this is your first deep-space assignment. It doesn't make sense."

But while he was still speaking, he guessed the truth. Gapsickness came in every conceivable shape and dis guise. He had heard of people who crossed the gap once - or even several times - and then lived perfectly normal lives until the right stimuli came along, until the right combination of circumstances occurred to trigger their personal vulnerability, their peculiar flaw. Combat? G-stress?

"How many times" - he took hold of her face again, forced her gaze toward him - "have you been under heavy g since the first time you crossed the gap?"

She gaped at him, anguish changing into comprehension in her eyes.

"Answer me. You did all kinds of g work in the Academy. They trained you for everything they could think of. Did you do that before or after your first gap crossing? When was the last time you were under heavy g?"

"Before," she husked weakly. Her voice seemed to stick in her teeth. "The gap comes last. Only if you want to crew in deep space. Earth can't afford to risk people who want to work in-system. Can't risk wasting all that training and expense for people who aren't going to be in any danger."

She must have understood what he was getting at, because she concluded with thin, cracked lucidity, "Chasing you was the first time I've been under heavy g since before my first crossing."


Good luck with your effort.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What WF said. Would love to see some of it.

(And for what it's worth, every time I read it I'm struck anew by different things, of pick up things I didn't notice first. Rereading may lack the punch of the first read, but it brings depth to the experience.)

--A
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys. I feel sheepish. I was able to find some of those exact pages just today during an internet search. I lent out my copy of the first book and it had been a while.

To be honest, I'm fairly surprised to have received 2 reactions so quickly. Not to bash on the site, but, among the people I know, few have heard of, or might have shown any possible interest in this or the Covenant series, which led me to wonder how often the fans of them, and of this site would revisit. I love these stories and have told many about them. And I've visited this site for years while many questions were raised from all the 15 books.

So far, as I write this, I'm finishing up the first scene, I've written the final scene and I have started a scene I have added showing a conversation between Morn and Davies aboard Starmaster en route to Com Mine area. Some may not like that, but I felt it needed it, not only for some exposition but also some establishment of the characters.

As a reward for your help, I can post the first scene if you like. And while I promise it's not how the book goes about introducing everything, I swear on my life, if I were to ever make a script based off of something this good, I'd do as little changing as possible. I'm hoping some fans can help spread the word to get this seen by someone once it's more complete.

Only problem is, I'm not sure how to keep the formatting on here, unless I saved it as a pdf and loaded the pages as pictures...?

Thanks again.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<pre>If you post things
wrapped inside <pre> and </pre> tags

then it will retain its layout

so long as it is plain text

but
scripts
often
are.</pre>
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, we keep an eye on what happens in here. Wink

Post on, good benj, post on. Wink

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<pre>
“THE GAP, PILOT”
By
Benjamin Doremus
#############
Rochester, NY 14625
315-576-####
bzldoremus@gmail.com

FADE IN:
EXT. UMCP TRAINING GROUNDS - DAY
Quiet. Stillness. GENERAL TARVO stands at a podium under the bright sun as a crowd of people sit in metallic bleachers behind him. His face is sincere, weathered, as he breathes deeply before looking down at his speech.
GENERAL TARVO
Cadets!
A large group of militant people stand in uniform, column upon column of solemn statues. The general’s voice is clear, crisp and captivating over the hush of the large parading grounds.
INTERCUT BETWEEN TARVO AND SEA OF CADETS
GENERAL TARVO (CONT’D)
After the day Dr. Juanita Estevez discovered the Gap Drive, it took her five years to realize what it was. She even thought tachyon/ tardyon principles were somehow involved. To this day, we perpetuate her initial ignorance, using her misinformed slang when we cross the gap. We wrongfully say we’re ‘going into tach’and we’re ‘resuming tard’. We do this for different reasons. I’m here to tell you that none of them are good.
Amid the solemn faces standing at attention, MORN HYLAND is listening to Tarvo’s speech with keen interest. She is beautiful; a major contrast to the militaristic faces surrounding her.
GENERAL TARVO
It’s sloppy. And indolent. It’s confirmation that as soon as mankind discovered something invaluable, it immediately became a negligent tool and mankind continued its carelessness.
General Torvo’s HAND interrupts the otherwise silent afternoon calm.
GENERAL TORVO
Is this how we trained you?
CADETS
Sir, no sir!
The sudden wave of noise is like a swift breeze across the grounds.
GENERAL TORVO
I didn’t hear you!
CADETS
Sir, no sir!
Another wave of tangible sound.
General Torvo’s solemn face is betrayed by a slight rise in the corner of his mouth. He breathes deeply again, taking in the sight before him.
GENERAL TORVO
Holt Fasner will be pleased to hear it. Warden Dios will be pleased to hear it. The GCES will be pleased to hear it. Some of them have been watching your training as I have, and eagerly await your dismissal into the heavens.
Morn raises her chin even higher.
GENERAL TORVO
But they aren’t exactly ‘Heaven’ are they? Your training wouldn’t have lasted very long if you thought them so.
Is that concern on some of the cadets’ faces?
GENERAL TORVO
Just like the Gap Drive, when mankind entered space with its new skillset, it preserved its historical tendencies.
A scene plays out of people fighting in a downtrodden slum with varying makeshift weapons. Blood soaks dirty, rotting clothing. Children run through a collision of bodies as they clash and hack and the children pull out knives and start hacking away as well. A dull, terrible song of screams and yelling accompanies the madness.
GERNEAL TORVO (V.O.)
Of violence.
More chaos erupts from a street in an old office building.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Disorder.
A disheveled man clamps his thumbs down into the eye sockets of a man in a two-dollar suit.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Hatred, and malice.
The quiet sunshine of the parading grounds erases the scenes and sounds of the chaos. The columns of statues still hold varying degrees of patience, anxiousness and hesitation on their faces.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
In the attempt to provide resources for Earth, it’s leaders forgot to provide for everyone. The guttergangs were a direct result. The civil disorder grew into domestic battles and war. The time came for a necessary change.
A lab in space. DR. JUANITA ESTEVEZ is pushing buttons on a large machine and watching the results out of a large window showing us the vacuum of space.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Some have argued the chaos helped us transform as a species. After years of seemingly inconsequential experiements, Dr. Estevez energized her field to “disassemble” a block of solid titanium.
The next series of quick scenes play out as General Torvo describes:
GERNERAL TORVO (V.O.)
At virtually the same instant, an explosion occurred in one of SpaceLab Station’s bulkheads-fortuitously, a redundant cargo hold bulkhead intended to protect the occupied regions of the station if, through accident or terrorism, the cargo should detonate and the hold decompress. The cause of the explosion became apparent when the block of titanium was found in the hole of the bulkhead: the block had come through the gap into physical space already occupied by the bulkhead; and since the block was solider, harder, the bulkhead tore itself loose. Of course, no one realized the event’s significance until Dr. Estevez sheepishly admitted that the block was hers. After some serious debate and internal struggle for control of the device in SpaceLab Station, Estevez’s research was too dramatic to be thwarted and eventually its potential benefits became too obvious to be denied. New versions of the “disassembler” became the “Juanita Estevez Mass Transmission Field Generator” and more objects were sent through it. It worked, as you all know. Interdimensional travel became a reality as soon as the interactions of the gap field (primary mass, velocity, and hysteresis) were adequately quantified – long before any theoretical understanding of the gap itself achieved broad acceptance within the scientific communities on Earth. The JEMTFG became the “interdimensional drive” which we now call the “gap drive.” Estevez was only remembered for her mistakes.

At this last word, Morn’s EYES fall, along with her prideful attention.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
“References to “tach” and “tard” have endured. An “Estevez” is a term we use for a major blunder with beneficial results.
General Torvo looks up from his speech as if to scrutinize the crowd.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
The gap drive was a catalyst for change. Soon after the discovery of its use, it opened up the frontiers of the galaxy. And with it, our disorder was able to spread.
A space vessel and its crew have settled onto an asteroid and are mining for various metals. The whole of space is black and parts of the asteroid are lit by battery powered lights.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Life on Earth may have found ways to still some of the violence in the hopes of the new ground and resources the gap could provide.
A ship rises above the crest of the asteroid. Some of the miners look up. Blinding spotlights shine down on them. Their helmet visors slide down as their arms raise to shield their eyes. Lowering their arms in their newly dimmed vision, they see the red lights of the ships guns come on and they have only a second to scream before they are nothing more than sparks and floating bodies with blood spewing into the void.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Stilling the violence in space is a different matter; much harder when the map has no borders. Space is never-ending. Vast, cold, indifferent, the ultimate power, the final road. Death and life. It didn’t change a thing. Piracy runs rampant.
From a computer screen, a red line across a map transitions to the very real, very black, empty space sprinkled with distant colorful galaxies and stars with a line of widely spaced mechanical sensors sitting very still, as yet undisturbed.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Amnion remain, we hope, just beyond the agreed borders. Mysterious and deadly.
Back to the sunshine, the seriousness of the General’s tone is mirrored in his stern face.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
We have not gained new abilities, just more responsibilities. Gap travel hasn’t given us the means to control space. Only to patrol it.
In the metal stands filled with families and friends witnessing the ceremony, a YOUNG MAN whispers to his neighbor.
YOUNG MAN
Holy fuck he’s bleak.
The “neighbor” doesn’t respond.
GENERAL TORVO
I would be remiss to send you off on a negative note.
Back in the stands:
YOUNG MAN
(to no one in particular)
Thank the fucking gods.
GENERAL TORVO
So I’ll say this: Space may be vast, mostly empty, full of holes, pirates, deviants and genetic-freak, stinkin, damnable Amnioni. We might not all make it back to Earth, we might not all be able to cover every damn illegal space port and hidden rock in the vacuum, we may not even be able to always keep those genetic mutants in check. But we’ll give it our all!
A loud cheer from the cadets.
GENERAL TORVO
We’ll give ‘em hell.
Another loud, unified cheer.
GENREAL TORVO
We’ll do the best damn clean sweep across the dust, any one of those illegal, mangy, murderous, rapist fucks will be swept into a cold can until the stars give out.
Another loud cheer. A mother in the crowd covers her child’s ears and a timid man in a suit grimaces a smile towards the stands. Most of the onlookers are riveted.
GENERAL TORVO
I’ve been reminded to say that we’re not here to fight the Amnion.
(a pause)
But if they try anything, if they cross that line, if we catch them turning one God-damned human soul into a foul, mindless Amnioni heathen, our matter cannon’s going straight up their collective wretched, rusty spaceshit ass.
Another loud cheer, from all over. Some faces show concern, but the speech has fueled the crowd.
GENERAL TORVO
Cadets, congratulations.
(slight pause)
Dismissed.
The cadets break formation and celebrate their graduation.
</pre>
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<pre>
“THE GAP, PILOT”
By
Benjamin Doremus
#############
Rochester, NY 14625
315-576-####
bzldoremus@gmail.com

FADE IN:
EXT. UMCP TRAINING GROUNDS - DAY
Quiet. Stillness. GENERAL TARVO stands at a podium under the bright sun as a crowd of people sit in metallic bleachers behind him. His face is sincere, weathered, as he breathes deeply before looking down at his speech.
GENERAL TARVO
Cadets!
A large group of militant people stand in uniform, column upon column of solemn statues. The general’s voice is clear, crisp and captivating over the hush of the large parading grounds.
INTERCUT BETWEEN TARVO AND SEA OF CADETS
GENERAL TARVO (CONT’D)
After the day Dr. Juanita Estevez discovered the Gap Drive, it took her five years to realize what it was. She even thought tachyon/ tardyon principles were somehow involved. To this day, we perpetuate her initial ignorance, using her misinformed slang when we cross the gap. We wrongfully say we’re ‘going into tach’and we’re ‘resuming tard’. We do this for different reasons. I’m here to tell you that none of them are good.
Amid the solemn faces standing at attention, MORN HYLAND is listening to Tarvo’s speech with keen interest. She is beautiful; a major contrast to the militaristic faces surrounding her.
GENERAL TARVO
It’s sloppy. And indolent. It’s confirmation that as soon as mankind discovered something invaluable, it immediately became a negligent tool and mankind continued its carelessness.
General Torvo’s HAND interrupts the otherwise silent afternoon calm.
GENERAL TORVO
Is this how we trained you?
CADETS
Sir, no sir!
The sudden wave of noise is like a swift breeze across the grounds.
GENERAL TORVO
I didn’t hear you!
CADETS
Sir, no sir!
Another wave of tangible sound.
General Torvo’s solemn face is betrayed by a slight rise in the corner of his mouth. He breathes deeply again, taking in the sight before him.
GENERAL TORVO
Holt Fasner will be pleased to hear it. Warden Dios will be pleased to hear it. The GCES will be pleased to hear it. Some of them have been watching your training as I have, and eagerly await your dismissal into the heavens.
Morn raises her chin even higher.
GENERAL TORVO
But they aren’t exactly ‘Heaven’ are they? Your training wouldn’t have lasted very long if you thought them so.
Is that concern on some of the cadets’ faces?
GENERAL TORVO
Just like the Gap Drive, when mankind entered space with its new skillset, it preserved its historical tendencies.
A scene plays out of people fighting in a downtrodden slum with varying makeshift weapons. Blood soaks dirty, rotting clothing. Children run through a collision of bodies as they clash and hack and the children pull out knives and start hacking away as well. A dull, terrible song of screams and yelling accompanies the madness.
GERNEAL TORVO (V.O.)
Of violence.
More chaos erupts from a street in an old office building.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Disorder.
A disheveled man clamps his thumbs down into the eye sockets of a man in a two-dollar suit.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Hatred, and malice.
The quiet sunshine of the parading grounds erases the scenes and sounds of the chaos. The columns of statues still hold varying degrees of patience, anxiousness and hesitation on their faces.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
In the attempt to provide resources for Earth, it’s leaders forgot to provide for everyone. The guttergangs were a direct result. The civil disorder grew into domestic battles and war. The time came for a necessary change.
A lab in space. DR. JUANITA ESTEVEZ is pushing buttons on a large machine and watching the results out of a large window showing us the vacuum of space.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Some have argued the chaos helped us transform as a species. After years of seemingly inconsequential experiements, Dr. Estevez energized her field to “disassemble” a block of solid titanium.
The next series of quick scenes play out as General Torvo describes:
GERNERAL TORVO (V.O.)
At virtually the same instant, an explosion occurred in one of SpaceLab Station’s bulkheads-fortuitously, a redundant cargo hold bulkhead intended to protect the occupied regions of the station if, through accident or terrorism, the cargo should detonate and the hold decompress. The cause of the explosion became apparent when the block of titanium was found in the hole of the bulkhead: the block had come through the gap into physical space already occupied by the bulkhead; and since the block was solider, harder, the bulkhead tore itself loose. Of course, no one realized the event’s significance until Dr. Estevez sheepishly admitted that the block was hers. After some serious debate and internal struggle for control of the device in SpaceLab Station, Estevez’s research was too dramatic to be thwarted and eventually its potential benefits became too obvious to be denied. New versions of the “disassembler” became the “Juanita Estevez Mass Transmission Field Generator” and more objects were sent through it. It worked, as you all know. Interdimensional travel became a reality as soon as the interactions of the gap field (primary mass, velocity, and hysteresis) were adequately quantified – long before any theoretical understanding of the gap itself achieved broad acceptance within the scientific communities on Earth. The JEMTFG became the “interdimensional drive” which we now call the “gap drive.” Estevez was only remembered for her mistakes.

At this last word, Morn’s EYES fall, along with her prideful attention.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
“References to “tach” and “tard” have endured. An “Estevez” is a term we use for a major blunder with beneficial results.
General Torvo looks up from his speech as if to scrutinize the crowd.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
The gap drive was a catalyst for change. Soon after the discovery of its use, it opened up the frontiers of the galaxy. And with it, our disorder was able to spread.
A space vessel and its crew have settled onto an asteroid and are mining for various metals. The whole of space is black and parts of the asteroid are lit by battery powered lights.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Life on Earth may have found ways to still some of the violence in the hopes of the new ground and resources the gap could provide.
A ship rises above the crest of the asteroid. Some of the miners look up. Blinding spotlights shine down on them. Their helmet visors slide down as their arms raise to shield their eyes. Lowering their arms in their newly dimmed vision, they see the red lights of the ships guns come on and they have only a second to scream before they are nothing more than sparks and floating bodies with blood spewing into the void.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Stilling the violence in space is a different matter; much harder when the map has no borders. Space is never-ending. Vast, cold, indifferent, the ultimate power, the final road. Death and life. It didn’t change a thing. Piracy runs rampant.
From a computer screen, a red line across a map transitions to the very real, very black, empty space sprinkled with distant colorful galaxies and stars with a line of widely spaced mechanical sensors sitting very still, as yet undisturbed.
GENERAL TORVO (V.O.)
Amnion remain, we hope, just beyond the agreed borders. Mysterious and deadly.
Back to the sunshine, the seriousness of the General’s tone is mirrored in his stern face.
GENERAL TORVO (CONT’D)
We have not gained new abilities, just more responsibilities. Gap travel hasn’t given us the means to control space. Only to patrol it.
In the metal stands filled with families and friends witnessing the ceremony, a YOUNG MAN whispers to his neighbor.
YOUNG MAN
Holy fuck he’s bleak.
The “neighbor” doesn’t respond.
GENERAL TORVO
I would be remiss to send you off on a negative note.
Back in the stands:
YOUNG MAN
(to no one in particular)
Thank the fucking gods.
GENERAL TORVO
So I’ll say this: Space may be vast, mostly empty, full of holes, pirates, deviants and genetic-freak, stinkin, damnable Amnioni. We might not all make it back to Earth, we might not all be able to cover every damn illegal space port and hidden rock in the vacuum, we may not even be able to always keep those genetic mutants in check. But we’ll give it our all!
A loud cheer from the cadets.
GENERAL TORVO
We’ll give ‘em hell.
Another loud, unified cheer.
GENREAL TORVO
We’ll do the best damn clean sweep across the dust, any one of those illegal, mangy, murderous, rapist fucks will be swept into a cold can until the stars give out.
Another loud cheer. A mother in the crowd covers her child’s ears and a timid man in a suit grimaces a smile towards the stands. Most of the onlookers are riveted.
GENERAL TORVO
I’ve been reminded to say that we’re not here to fight the Amnion.
(a pause)
But if they try anything, if they cross that line, if we catch them turning one God-damned human soul into a foul, mindless Amnioni heathen, our matter cannon’s going straight up their collective wretched, rusty spaceshit ass.
Another loud cheer, from all over. Some faces show concern, but the speech has fueled the crowd.
GENERAL TORVO
Cadets, congratulations.
(slight pause)
Dismissed.
The cadets break formation and celebrate their graduation.
</pre>
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

UGHHHH
So sorry, I don't know what I did wrong, but I tried, there you go. Be honest as you like if you care to read and respond.
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