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THOOLAH has come to redeem your mortal soul.
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kevinswatch
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:10 am    Post subject: THOOLAH has come to redeem your mortal soul. Reply with quote

Greetings, my Brothers and Sisters. I have come to spread the almighty word of The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters. For too long we have lived in the shadow of the Linden Avery Support Guild. For countless ages we have quietly sat while the minions of the Queen of Inaction have dominated the discussion here at the Watch. For generations we have awaited patiently for a time when The Chronicles would no longer be plagued by the evil that is Linden Avery. We have waited while the unholy supporters of the Chosen have tried to convince us that Linden Avery really is a worthy successor to the great Thomas Covenant.

Well, to you my Brothers and Sisters, I say to you,

NO MORE!

No more shall we stand to listen to the lies preached by the Linden Avery Support Guild. No more shall we stand to accept a second rate character to continue on as a farce of a main character in the great Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. No more shall we hide our annoyance with the great Queen of Inaction, and her many forsaken qualities. The Chosen is eternally whiney and is forever complainey. She tricks us with pages and pages of endless thought, misjudgment, and a fear of taking action. We require a lead character who isn't afraid to shoot fireballs out of their ass and completely annihilate and destroy every living thing within a thirty mile radius in order to accomplish their goal, whatever it may or may not be. We require a lead character who leaps before they look, and who acts immediately in every situation, without even taking a nanosecond to consider the possibilities. The time for action has come! No more shall we sit around and "think" about what is going on! For the Way of Thought is the Way of Inaction, which is mandate of the unholy queen.

Now, my Brothers and Sisters, I am aware that many of you have fallen from the light. You have grown weak and have submitted yourselves to the foul teachings of the Linden Avery Support Guild. You have allowed yourselves to accept the fact that Linden Avery has been chosen to lead the story of the Chronicles, and there is nothing we can do to stop her reign of terror. You have given up hope that nothing can be done to save our mortal spirits. You have allowed yourselves to consider thinking the ultimate sin of proclamation: "Well, Linden Avery isn't too bad..."

But all is not lost, my Brothers and Sisters! For The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters is here to back into the holy light. THOOLAH forgives you of your sins! We must join together and proclaim to all of the Watch our annoyance with the Queen of Inaction! We must organize to be One Body, and One Unified Voice, for this is the only way we may combat the evil that is the Linden Avery Support Guild. They may try to trick us and tell us that she is not that bad, but we will always know of the evils of the Queen of Inaction. We must remain strong in the face of Averyness!

I ask you, my Brothers and Sisters, to look within your hearts, and you will see the truth that is THOOLAH. If you feel confused and conflicted by what you have been told by the Linden Avery Support Guild, then speak to us, my Brothers and Sisters, and we will help you find the Way of Action, Way of Truth, and the Way of THOOLAH.

The Holy Creed of The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters:

We shall denounce the many lies of the Linden Avery Support Guild
We shall be forever annoyed with the unholy ways of the Queen of Inaction
We shall be forever peeved with her tendency to over-analyze and whine until the cows come home
We shall await a time when then Chosen finally stops thinking and actually does something

Amen, my Brothers and Sisters. Our time has come.-jay
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safetyjedi
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You forgot,,,


We shall try and force feed her cheese with her whines...
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is it our fault that you lack the subtlety to appreciate the depth of character that SRD brings to us through Linden? Wink

Don't worry Jay, as SRD has said, it is definately the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, not the Chronicles of Linden Avery. The hero that you are unable to see beyond will be back soon.

More Razz
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Fist and Faith
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HEAR HEAR!! (To Jay, not Luke.) For the love of God, how can you have Jane be the star of a Tarzan book?!?!?!
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!

Cheers


But beware those who have praised her in the past only to disown her now. These will seek to infiltrate our ranks and attempt to poison us from within! Accept to quarter!
Damn Linden Avery, damn her to HELL!!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!
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Fist and Faith
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sayin'!
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The Laughing Man
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
    The Witch Linden Avery

    Angry Mob: "We've found a witch, may we burn her?" Mad

    King jay: "Bring her forward." (Examines the girl) "How do you know she
    is a witch?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Well, she looks like one" Shifty

    The Witch: "They dressed me up like this.... and this isn't my nose, it's a false one." Confused

    King jay: "Did you dress her up like this?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "NO...No.... a bit, a bit. We did do the nose" Shifty

    King jay: "The nose....?" Confused

    Angry Mob: "And the hat, but she is a witch. Look she's got a wart." Shifty

    King jay: "What makes you think that she is a witch?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "What, she turned me into a newt." Mad

    King jay: "A newt?" Confused

    Angry Mob: "........... i got better." Shifty

    "BURN HER ANYWAY!!!! BURN HER!!!!" Cussing

    King jay: "Quiet, quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch." Twisted Evil

    Angry Mob: "There are??? Are there??? Tell us. Tell us. Do they hurt?" Confused

    King jay: "Tell me, what do you do with witches?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Burn Them!" Cussing

    King jay: "And what do you burn apart from witches?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "More witches!" (peasant gets slapped) Cussing Smack

    Angry Mob: "Wood!" Loopy in the Sky with Diamonds

    King jay: "So, why do witches burn?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Because they're made of... wood?" Shifty

    King jay: "Good! So how do we tell whether she is made of wood?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Build a bridge out of her!" Loopy in the Sky with Diamonds

    King jay: "Ahh, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Oh ya." Embarassed

    King jay: "Tell me, Does wood sink in water?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "No, no, it floats." Eureka

    Angry Mob: "Throw her into the pond!" Cussing

    King jay: "What also floats in water?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "Bread, apples, very small rocks, cider, gravy, cherries, mud, churches, lead..." Shifty

    King vain: "A duck!" Eureka

    King jay: "Exactly! So, logically....." Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood." Eureka

    King jay: "And therefore?" Rolling Eyes

    Angry Mob: "A Witch!" Cussing



Make a ladder out of her! Head Banger

Hey! Eureka we need a THOOLAH membership icon or something in the shop, hhmmm? Rolling Eyes
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Fist and Faith
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All well and good. And necessary. But I really want TEBMAC: The Elena Bites My Ass Club. She makes Linden look like freakin' Einstein!
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duchess of malfi
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fist and Faith wrote:
All well and good. And necessary. But I really want TEBMAC: The Elena Bites My Ass Club. She makes Linden look like freakin' Einstein!


I'll gladly join TEBMAC!!! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All hail THOOLAH!
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

do you say THOO-lah, like hooyah?

[Linden and Elena, beaten and bruised, laying on the track in various postitions of inertness, wheels spinning, while TC skates slowly around the arena to the sound of the crowd's burgeoning chorus...Cov-e-nant, Cov-e-nant, Cov-e-nant]
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, and I'd also promote the rather charmingly named group SACOFMWRITMOAB...

Stop Anele Crunching Out Fifty-Minute Whining Reminiscences In The Middle Of A Battle - group!
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL! Sign me up to THOOLAH and to TEBMAC!
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

amanibhavam wrote:
Yeah, and I'd also promote the rather charmingly named group SACOFMWRITMOAB...

Stop Anele Crunching Out Fifty-Minute Whining Reminiscences In The Middle Of A Battle - group!
Yeah. Him and Elena.

Hey, wait a sec...
Elena - Anele
Elena - anelE
Did anybody ever notice...



LOL Mr. Green
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about THOOLEAH:

The Honourable Organisation Of Linden Elena & Anele Haters

And that is how we spell Honourable here in England! Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Hey, wait a sec...
Elena - Anele
Elena - anelE
Did anybody ever notice...


Hey, you're on to something there, Fist. You should ask SRD about that in the GI.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

POOP! I love Linden Avery! I don't know why people call her a whiner... TC was always the whiner in my mind's eye. At least Linden wants to take action, instead of moping around all day telling people "don't touch me"...
She's a good, strong character, and like all good physicians, she wants to examine the desease before administering a cure. SO GIVE THE POOR WOMAN A BREAK!
The books are giong to 'rock' with her in them!

Thus I will start the I.L.L.A. group (I Love Linden Avery). The line starts here.......


.........



hello.........?





........ uh, anyone else?..........

...line... starting here..............

...anyone?............




Wink Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate dat beeyautch. Laughing Sign me up.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

High Lord Tolkien wrote:
THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!

Cheers


But beware those who have praised her in the past only to disown her now. These will seek to infiltrate our ranks and attempt to poison us from within! Accept to quarter!
Damn Linden Avery, damn her to HELL!!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!

Aye, long live THOOLAH! And slightly live SACOFMWRITMOAB!

I am, and have always been, a Linden hater. This will remain unchanged.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All Hail Thoolah! Cheers
All Hail SACOFMWRITMOAB! Cheers

Um, I liked Elena. At least, I liked watching her fail. I'll have to opt out of the Elena-haters' club on that technicality.
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