THOOLAH has come to redeem your mortal soul.

kevinswatch

Greetings, my Brothers and Sisters. I have come to spread the almighty word of The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters. For too long we have lived in the shadow of the Linden Avery Support Guild. For countless ages we have quietly sat while the minions of the Queen of Inaction have dominated the discussion here at the Watch. For generations we have awaited patiently for a time when The Chronicles would no longer be plagued by the evil that is Linden Avery. We have waited while the unholy supporters of the Chosen have tried to convince us that Linden Avery really is a worthy successor to the great Thomas Covenant.

Well, to you my Brothers and Sisters, I say to you,

NO MORE!

No more shall we stand to listen to the lies preached by the Linden Avery Support Guild. No more shall we stand to accept a second rate character to continue on as a farce of a main character in the great Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. No more shall we hide our annoyance with the great Queen of Inaction, and her many forsaken qualities. The Chosen is eternally whiney and is forever complainey. She tricks us with pages and pages of endless thought, misjudgment, and a fear of taking action. We require a lead character who isn't afraid to shoot fireballs out of their ass and completely annihilate and destroy every living thing within a thirty mile radius in order to accomplish their goal, whatever it may or may not be. We require a lead character who leaps before they look, and who acts immediately in every situation, without even taking a nanosecond to consider the possibilities. The time for action has come! No more shall we sit around and "think" about what is going on! For the Way of Thought is the Way of Inaction, which is mandate of the unholy queen.

Now, my Brothers and Sisters, I am aware that many of you have fallen from the light. You have grown weak and have submitted yourselves to the foul teachings of the Linden Avery Support Guild. You have allowed yourselves to accept the fact that Linden Avery has been chosen to lead the story of the Chronicles, and there is nothing we can do to stop her reign of terror. You have given up hope that nothing can be done to save our mortal spirits. You have allowed yourselves to consider thinking the ultimate sin of proclamation: "Well, Linden Avery isn't too bad..."

But all is not lost, my Brothers and Sisters! For The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters is here to back into the holy light. THOOLAH forgives you of your sins! We must join together and proclaim to all of the Watch our annoyance with the Queen of Inaction! We must organize to be One Body, and One Unified Voice, for this is the only way we may combat the evil that is the Linden Avery Support Guild. They may try to trick us and tell us that she is not that bad, but we will always know of the evils of the Queen of Inaction. We must remain strong in the face of Averyness!

I ask you, my Brothers and Sisters, to look within your hearts, and you will see the truth that is THOOLAH. If you feel confused and conflicted by what you have been told by the Linden Avery Support Guild, then speak to us, my Brothers and Sisters, and we will help you find the Way of Action, Way of Truth, and the Way of THOOLAH.

The Holy Creed of The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters:

We shall denounce the many lies of the Linden Avery Support Guild
We shall be forever annoyed with the unholy ways of the Queen of Inaction
We shall be forever peeved with her tendency to over-analyze and whine until the cows come home
We shall await a time when then Chosen finally stops thinking and actually does something

Amen, my Brothers and Sisters. Our time has come.-jay

safetyjedi · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:14 am Post subject:

You forgot,,,

We shall try and force feed her cheese with her whines...
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Join me and we can end this destructive conflict...

variol son · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:15 am Post subject:

Is it our fault that you lack the subtlety to appreciate the depth of character that SRD brings to us through Linden? Wink

Don't worry Jay, as SRD has said, it is definately the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, not the Chronicles of Linden Avery. The hero that you are unable to see beyond will be back soon.

More Razz

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You do not hear, and so you cannot be redeemed.

In the name of their ancient pride and humiliation, they had made commitments with no possible outcome except bereavement.

He knew only that they had never striven to reject the boundaries of themselves.

Fist and Faith · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:20 am Post subject:

HEAR HEAR!! (To Jay, not Luke.) For the love of God, how can you have Jane be the star of a Tarzan book?!?!?!
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We are not required to save the world. We are required to stand up as truly as we can for what we love. -SRD

High Lord Tolkien · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:32 am Post subject:

THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!
THOOLAH!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!

Cheers

But beware those who have praised her in the past only to disown her now. These will seek to infiltrate our ranks and attempt to poison us from within! Accept to quarter!
Damn Linden Avery, damn her to HELL!!

Long live The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters!
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http://thoolah.blogspot.com/

[Defeated by a gizmo from Batman's utility belt]
Joker: I swear by all that's funny never to be taken in by that unconstitutional device again!

Fist and Faith · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:33 am Post subject:

I'm sayin'!
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We are not required to save the world. We are required to stand up as truly as we can for what we love. -SRD

The Laughing Man · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:39 am Post subject:

Fist and Faith · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:05 am Post subject:

All well and good. And necessary. But I really want TEBMAC: The Elena Bites My Ass Club. She makes Linden look like freakin' Einstein!
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We are not required to save the world. We are required to stand up as truly as we can for what we love. -SRD

duchess of malfi · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:31 am Post subject:

dlbpharmd · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:33 am Post subject:

All hail THOOLAH!
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lucimay · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:34 am Post subject:

do you say THOO-lah, like hooyah?

[Linden and Elena, beaten and bruised, laying on the track in various postitions of inertness, wheels spinning, while TC skates slowly around the arena to the sound of the crowd's burgeoning chorus...Cov-e-nant, Cov-e-nant, Cov-e-nant]
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you're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?
~ alan bates, the mothman prophecies

i've had this with actors before, on the set, where they get upset about the [size of my] trailer, and i'm always like...take my trailer, cause... i'm from kentucky and that's not what we brag about.
~ george clooney, inside the actor's studio

a straight edge for legends at
the fold - searching for our
lost cities of gold. burnt tar,
gravel pits. sixteen gears switch.
Haphazard Lucy strolls by.
~ dennis r wood ~

amanibhavam · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:26 am Post subject:

Yeah, and I'd also promote the rather charmingly named group SACOFMWRITMOAB...

Stop Anele Crunching Out Fifty-Minute Whining Reminiscences In The Middle Of A Battle - group!
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love is the shadow that ripens the wine

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Warmark · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:00 pm Post subject:

LOL! Sign me up to THOOLAH and to TEBMAC!
_________________
But if you're all about the destination, then take a fucking flight.
We're going nowhere slowly, but we're seeing all the sights.
And we're definitely going to hell, but we'll have all the best stories to tell.

Full of the heavens and time.

Fist and Faith · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:23 pm Post subject:

KAY1 · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:12 pm Post subject:

How about THOOLEAH:

The Honourable Organisation Of Linden Elena & Anele Haters

And that is how we spell Honourable here in England! Smile

dlbpharmd · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:26 pm Post subject:

Usivius · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:37 pm Post subject:

POOP! I love Linden Avery! I don't know why people call her a whiner... TC was always the whiner in my mind's eye. At least Linden wants to take action, instead of moping around all day telling people "don't touch me"...
She's a good, strong character, and like all good physicians, she wants to examine the desease before administering a cure. SO GIVE THE POOR WOMAN A BREAK!
The books are giong to 'rock' with her in them!

Thus I will start the I.L.L.A. group (I Love Linden Avery). The line starts here.......

.........

hello.........?

........ uh, anyone else?..........

...line... starting here..............

...anyone?............

Wink

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~...with a floating smile and a light blue sponge...~

Sunbaneglasses · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:16 pm Post subject:

I hate dat beeyautch. Laughing

Sign me up.

CovenantJr · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:37 pm Post subject:

Alynna Lis Eachann · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 6:49 pm Post subject:

All Hail Thoolah! Cheers

All Hail SACOFMWRITMOAB! Cheers

Um, I liked Elena. At least, I liked watching her fail. I'll have to opt out of the Elena-haters' club on that technicality.
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"We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard... and too damn cheap." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Now if you remember all great paintings have an element of tragedy to them. Uh, for instance if you remember from last week, the unicorn was stuck on the aircraft carrier and couldn't get off. That was very sad. " - Kids in the Hall